am I stupid or what?

I have been married 30 years. My husband has a terrible temper. He has a history of breaking things when he is mad. He was this way before we married. But everytime he was mad and breaking things, I would soothe him until he stopped. After we married, we had many fights. And he always broke my things. Never his things. One time he broke my dead mothers dishes. Through the years, he has gotten better, about his tantrums, but now they are escalating again. We had 2 children. . His family had the same tendencies. My family always sat down and talked out their disagreements. I was fearful my kids would grow up and have the same coping skills. But I kept trying to keep the marriage going. And show them how to cope during anger, sadness, disappointments. Unfortunately my adult children are now showing the same tendencies. I am just sick that they will have the same miserable life as I have had. have been reading about Intermittant Explosive Disorder and this sounds just like what my husband has. I can see the writing on the wall. His anger will build up, and I can see it coming. I try to ignore his behavior, but there is nothing I can do to avoid it. If I try to ignore it, or stay away, he just escalates. These episodes usually occur on my weekends off work. I work every other weekend. My husband is always the person everyone things is such a nice guy. I am the one that can be difficult and say what needs to be said. But my husband never says what he is feeling. He would rather let his feelings fester until he has reached the point of no return. We have made a financial committement and I have worked overtime to reach our goal. Then when I come home after 50 hour work weeks, my husband is critical of everything I do. The house isn't clean enough, the dog stinks, there is never any dinner. There is no groceries. I work every other weekend. On the weekends I am working, he is able to do what ever he wants. He usually leaves Sat. morning and I don't see him until Sun. evening. Usually he doesn't call or check in. He goes hunting, fishing, when ever he feels like it. Then when he comes home, he wants me to help him with his chores. He will throw his temper tantrums, cause I am paying the bills or doing something that needs to be done, He throws temper tantrums because he feels I need to help him, He threw a temper tantrum because I was paying the bills and he had deer meat to process, and he was mad because I wanted to finish the bills. He said I should drop what I am doing, to help him, because it is a need. He told me that if he wasn't doing the deer meat, he would be remodeling the house. We have had remodeling suppies for 3 years, that he hasn't completed. Then after he got the deer meat done, he left again to do what he wants. But when it is time for me to do the bills, or paint, or clean the house, he is never around. He gets up on Sundays, and disappears, doesn't tell me where he is going. We don't have a life together. If he does spend time with me, he makes life miserable. The last time we spent the day together, I felt he wanted to be somewhere else. And I knew he was escalating into a temper tantrum. After his temper tantrum, I called him on it, telling him I felt he would rather spend time doing his thing than being with me. And when I want him to be with me, he he said to me I spent all summer with you, and never got to go fishing once." Then he says "I don't want to talk about this any more". Today, he was gone again. Didn't tell me his plans, said he was going with a friend. He left at 6 am and got back at 6 pm. He comes home and is in a good mood, wanting to know how my day is. Wants me to watch a movie. And the remodeling he says he would do, is still not done. I don't feel like being happy. I am over 50, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. I need to know if I am being stupid or what? He says it is always something I have done to make him get so mad and break things and scream. I just need some advice from others who are not involved. I am ready to leave, cut my losses and give up my life and start over. I really want to stay married, but I can't live like this any longer. I would be thankful for any advice.