Is It Me?

Ok, here's the story...I met my husband 14 years ago and we hit it off right away. I was divorced, with 2 small children. He had never been married and didn't have children. He didn't tell his parents we were dating for at least the first 8 years we were dating. I was tired of it so I moved to the other side of town (about an hour away). He continued to come over. About 6 years ago, I was sick of how he spoke to me, how he was demeaning to me, how he called me names, told me I couldn't do this or that right, so I told him it was over and I didn't want to see him anymore. He cried like a baby. For six months we separated. I knew I still loved him, however I couldn't allow myself to be treated that way. In that six months, he had shown me he had changed. Stupid me, I took him back, and this time he moved in. We got engaged, and I got pregnant. When I was 5 months pregnant, I started having problems and cramping. He told me that other women have babies all the time and don't feel like I do. Well, I ended up in the hospital going into labor prematurely. Thank goodness, all turned out well with that. We got married the following October. From the moment we got back from our honeymoon, I new I had made a mistake in taking him back. The first year, we did nothing but fight. We have only now been married almost 4 years, but it feels like eternity. This past June, while in an argument, he raised his hand to hit me, then stopped. The other night, while in the car with my 4 year old, he screamed at me "F*#k you, you f-ing b#*ch!". After he said this, I told him I wanted him out. He refuses to leave until I have a job in which I can support our son and my son from my previous marriage. I haven't spoken to him, except a yes or a no, since that happened. I am a stay at home mom, because when I worked, it was inconvient for him. My oldest just moved out to go to college, even though her college is close, because of this man and his ways. My middle son will stay in his room when hubby is home because he doesn't want to be around him. My youngest gives me a very hard time with listening, and he acts out often. I know this is because of our fighting. I don't know how to move on or how to go forward. I have been trying to find a job for the past 2 years with no luck, I am going to try a temp agency. I know I need to consult a lawyer, but I feel this is going to get messier than I want. My husband owns his own business which I helped him get off the ground. Any advise is appreciated. Alt