Where do I go from here?

I know exactly what I need to do so far as the seperation/divorce but is it normal to still feel like I want this man. I truly thought I was preparing myself for this but I see that I was just kidding myself. We first started having problems financially and we argue all the time about the bills. He feels I don't leave us any money after the bills are paid and I feel he tries to keep money when he should be paying the bills. We discussed ending the marriage before I found out he had been talking to someone else. This was about two month ago. Within the last month I know he has be sleeping with someone and of course he will not admit it. I moved out for about a week in the middle of July and he wanted me to come back home for our son. He is a good father but I feel it will hurt our son more in the long run if we stay in the same house together with all this tension. I am beginning to feel so much anger and hate toward him, I don't know what to do. I can not financially support me and my son right now until I can get some money together. My husband says he does not have any where to go. What can I possibly do to help cope with my situation?

by mahkb 3 Posts
Posted on 8/31/2008 8:44 PM

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Answers for "Where do I go from here?" (1) (You must be logged in to answer)

My husband first left 2 years ago this weekend. I asked him to leave this weekend.

When he first left I felt like my world had fallen apart. Like everything I had known was wrong. I believed in him and our marriage. How could I have been so wrong. I missed him so much. I did everything I could to get him to come back. He did, he shouldn't have. He wanted me to change to his liking, and he wanted to go along with whatever he was doing.

My husband, too, is a great father. He just doesn't see taking care of his marriage and loving his son's mother as part of being a good father!

Sometimes their egos just need to be fed constantly and he didn't see why he should recipricate.

We don't really have the money to seperate either. I stay at home and we're barely making it as it is. He's been staying at friends or the firehouse. When we've had problems before I would say he could stay on the couch, or in our bed, it wasn't like passion was going to take over. We never had sex anyway.

Anyway, it does get easier. It will take a while. Just think how much effort you put in and how much he put in. Not to mention he's sleeping with someone else. Would you want your best friend to be with a person like that? Don't you deserve someone who cares as much as you do? Do you want your son to have this as a role model for marriage? A mom who will put up with anything and a father who treats his wife like crap? Be strong. We're here, you'll get thru this.

But even as I type this I realize I'm not strong sometimes and sometimes I think *I* won't get thru this. That's what we're all here for I guess.

by JaimeM 98 Posts
Posted on 9/1/2008 10:20 PM

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