trying again

Well I think I've reached the decision to go back to him.  At first it was mainly for financial reasons but its become more than that.  I've realized that I really don't want to start over with someone new.  I don't want to go thru all that work, energy, & time again.  Plus he already knows everything about me.  I'm completely comfortable with him & we're still good friends.  I don't think I'm still in love with him but I think over time & some counseling that maybe I could be in love with him again. 

I'm worried about my family though.  I don't know what my parents are going to do, I haven't said anything to them yet.  They've helped me a lot these past 5 months but I can't live with them for the next 3 years while I finish school & I can't afford to live on my own.

I've realized that most of my dreams were just that, dreams.  When I first left there was just relief to be out of the situation.  I had so many hopes & ambitions but I realize now that they were pretty unrealistic.  My main goal right now is to finish nursing school & I need all the support I can get.  He's willing to give that to me.  Not just financial but emotional as well.

I think it was a good thing that I left because I think it made him realize a lot of things & that there is a good chance he's changed.  I'm just so worried that my family is going to be so pissed at me for going back.  They didn't want me to marry him in the first place so they were glad when I decided to leave him.  This is almost as hard a decision as the decision to leave.