ignoring me

you are in an emotionally abusive relationship - he will not change - and it is extremely unhealthy - it is highly ABNORMAL - so get yourself out of it before it destroys you as a person, and makes any relationship in the future that much harder for you.

ok from the on reply let me add more so that it is understood what is going on.My husband is a control freak he trys to tell me when i can go on the computer and who i can and cant hang out with. He tells me get of the computer so i can spend time with u so i do. but when i ask him he ignores me. and i have exausted myself doing things he likes to do like work on his truck, bowling, going out to eat where he wants and just doing what he wants i guess after three years i just got tired of being ordered around so when i as him for time together why do i get the bullshit? and yes he has cheated on me before i have caught him so when hee goes into ignore mode is when i start to wonder whats going on.

Rn - I've been married over 20 years, and one thing you learn is that you can't demand and try to force someone to do something - think of him like an old stubborn mule - the harder you pull - the more he is going to dig his hooves in and not go anywhere.

Communication does not mean talking AT someone, or yelling or screaming AT someone.

Be honest with yourself - would YOU want to spend time with someone being demanding, controlling and yelling at you? That isn't too terribly appealing. Do you always try to control when you spend time, where and what you do?

 

Why can't you plop on the floor and learn one of his video games? He has obviously done things you enjoy sacraficing what he wants - it's time to return the favor.

Why does he have to stop the things he enjoys, to do what you want to do all the time? That is going to make someone not want to spend time.

relationships, marriage etc is a give and take - and I get the feeling you have been doing more taking than giving lately - and this is his way of digging his heels in and letting you know he doesn't like it.

I'm not a male, but something for sure is going on.  I don't necessarily think he's cheating, but for whatever reason he is not a participant in this marriage.  Are you still in counseling?  You really deserve some answers.  Have you set aside time each week for each other?  Will he agree to that?  I would try that, get him to commit to some time together.  You each need time alone and time together.  Try to reach some kind of agreement.  Both have to be committed to make marriage work.