What Do You Give Up to Make it Work?

So I was dating this one guy for a while, but he lives in a state I just moved away from so I could be closer to family with health problems. I was lucky because I got a decent job, so I could do it. And we broke up in that weird silent way where we just stopped talking. And another guy I dated resurfaced. One I actually planned to live with before I moved to the other state and then moved back home. He lives in the area, within a few hours driving distance. And he says he loves me, wants to move in with you, but he's gotta find a job, blah blah. It feels like there's always something. And yesterday the first guy resurfaces. It made me sad. He says he still loves me and misses me, but knows it can't work because he can't move here around my family, who can be kind of bloodsucking, and I've gotta move back to the state I just moved from to make the relationship work because he recently took a new job there and he can't leave. (A job he took after telling me he'd move here to be with me.) I would have to find another job there -- which would be hard to do these days given my profession. Fear really keeps me from doing anything like that in a relationship. After the divorce, I promised myself I wouldn't financially trust someone again, given the financial hole my ex put me in and which it took me years to dig out of. (Note: Trust in the faithfulness of a person also an issue, given my ex-spouses preferences for blondes -- a lot of them.) It's been years since my divorce, but everything still seems so complicated when it comes to a relationship. A friend of mine, who I once dated and who said he wanted to marry me but then got cold feet because he said he sensed my fear -- he still has the ring he planned to give me, btw, says I just need to commit to someone, no matter what the cost. But no of these guys wants to move for me --- which makes me leary of doing anything for any one of them. I mean, if they won't do this for you, what will your life be like with them? It's like there's no compromise. And I'm the one who is always expected to "give up" something -- usually a job that gives me financial stability. I'm the one with more financial means than any of these guys I've dated. So I'd be giving up my own financial security, tentative as it is at the moment, to have a relationship. I guess most women would do that, but I'm not most women. And I've been burned before on this issue. And I always end up carrying more than my share of the "caretaking" financial or otherwise, which also gives me pause. My question is -- What should you be willing to give up -- read risk) -- (respect for yourself not included) -- to make a relationship work? Thoughts?