Advice please

The first thing I suggest you do is take a series of deep breaths.  Count 1-4 on the inhale and 4-1 on the exhale.  Anger of any sort is always anger turned inwards and it hurts you  more than it does him or the ex's fiance.  The next thing I want you to remember is that hurting people hurt people.  Your ex's fiance is really hurting (as is your ex) to be doing the things they're doing.  I'm not excusing the behavior but I want you to understand where it's coming from so you give their bad behavior no power over you.  You have a little girl to think about and, yes, you gave birth to her, and she is your world and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that.  You are the woman who will teach your daughter not to accept anything less than the best and the one thing you can do is start setting boundaries with your ex and HIS fiance so you can show your daughter that we teach people how to treat us.  If SHE is telling him what to pay in child support, get the law on your side to ask for the amount that your child needs.  If they want to show up late or bring your daughter home with makeup and things on, set the rules and let him know that this is what you will accept and this is what you won't and if he's not willing to have an adult conversation about how to effectively co-parent together, then this is a matter that requires a third party mediator. 

Set the boundaries and show your daughter that we teach people how to treat us. 

And, above all, trust yourself, love yourself, and choose you!

I'm sending you positive energy!

Kassandra

http://tinyurl.com/5ab56y

Paula, oh my God!  you're story brings me right back to when i got divorced from my daughters "dad."  His wife tortured me for YEARS!!!!  I know this is a bad thing to say, i've never hated anyone as much as i did her (God forgive me).  She would threaten to take my daughter away from me, they wouldn't show up to pick up my babe when they said they would and she'd cry in her bed "i want my daddy!"  It was heartbreaking, then i'd run in to the new evil-step-ass and she would say, OH, when we didn't show up we were probably at a motel having sex (and let me tell you, he had a little wee wee and was nothing to brag about) but what i'm trying to say is PLEASE have patience and when your daughter gets older she WILL understand.  I had the step-ass banned from picking my daughter up at daycare because she would take her without telling me!  Then, this is funny, my daughter came home one day and says, mom, does mary think you're stupid?  why does she always re-do my hair at daycare.  she would go there every day and change her clothes and re-do her hair.  i worked 2 jobs, didn't drink, didn't smoke, my social life was my 2nd job. i felt so guilty that i had to leave her but i had my dad (God rest his soul) and they were bonded.  To make a long story short, to this day, and she's 27, she has no respect for her step-ass and has given up on her father.  It was her birthday yesterday, i called her dad and left a message to remind him and he actually called.  i didn't tell her i called him and she said it was the best present.  sometimes you just have to suck it up because they will grow and see it for themselves.  i'm sorry you're going thru this.  i used to cry every day.  It doesn't do anything but make you feel miserable.  Enjoy the time they have her, pamper yourself.
big hugs!

I know that must be frustrating. The harassment is not something you have to put up with. If it continues, you should report it, but I do agree with Paula that you should choose your battles wisely. You could make yourself crazy getting fired up about the little things that legally you can't do much about. I also agree that you should only deal with your ex. Who IS this woman anyway??? Who does she think she is?? You and your ex husband created your daughter, thus, Your daughter is the business of only you and your ex. If the fiancee wants to cooperate, then so be it, but if she's only going to make things difficult, then she can just butt out and watch from the sidelines. That's the way I see it. I have 2 daughters of my own and I'm sorta jealous and territorial when it comes to them, so I'll be damned if some other woman is going to swoop in and try to be their "mommy". As far as child support is concerned, you can do something about that and you should. If he is late, behind, or his checks are an amount other than what is outlined in your divorce decree (or what you and your ex have agreed upon), then you should take him back to court if you are able, and if it becomes a habit. This new woman does not get to decide when and for what amount the child support checks come

Well 15 minutes once may not seem like a big deal but it's 15 minutes one time 30 minutes 20 minutes and sometimes hours?
I have told my ex before and they call me jealous that I don't want to share my daughter with her but okay first of all I don't but that is not the problem the problem is the lack of respect and doing things to create problems.
I am trying to take back control one step at a time.
Thank you much for your advice
Zoe

tell your ex that you will report harassment.  she can't do that.  but.....(now don't get mad)....but there are many people who are dealing with an ex's g/f or spouse who could care less about the child.

or worse.

it's very annoying and inappropriate for her to do all of this...but you need to figure out which things are worth fighting for.

harassment needs to end.

15 minutes late...is really no big deal.

my ex doesn't even show to see his kids.  i would prefer 15 minutes late over that.

talk to your ex.  tell him that you will deal with him only going forward. take back control.