He's Moving Out

My soon to be ex is moving out on Saturday. Should my 5 year old daughter be present in the house when he moves out? Please help me. I want to make this process as painless as possible, but I'm worried if she comes home to an empty house with her daddy gone how she will react. If she sees him leave, would that be better for her in the long run? Please help.

by valpal 56 Posts
Posted on 12/5/2007 9:09 AM

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Answers for "He's Moving Out" (6) (You must be logged in to answer)

Hey, it may bee too late to help you but I just saw an article on telling your kids about the divorce through a story book. It sounded like it might be the type of thing that could work for you. I think you can even download it if you're interested. You put together a story of your family (past present and future) with photos, it helps express how change is natural and doesn't have to be a bad thing. the article is here: http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/news_press_release,236836.shtml and the product is here http://www.howdoitellthekids.com/ I hope it helps.

by Robert-Boyd 3880 Posts
Posted on 12/6/2007 2:19 PM

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You guys are great! Thanks for all the advice. I've made plans to take her to a winter carnival while her dad is moving out. We're going to talk to her tonight and explain that Daddy is leaving and that she will have two houses now. I appreciate all the input.

by valpal 56 Posts
Posted on 12/6/2007 12:26 PM

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I agree. I don't have children, but I was the child of a divorce. It sucks. You need to ease her into this. Does she already know that you two are splitting up? She should, Samantha has it right, take time to break it down for her. Make sure she knows that this has nothing to do with her, and it's just a change. Reinforce the positive things. I also like the decorate idea Bea4. That's great, it allows her to make the new home her own. I would recommend against having her there during the move. The move is a bad time for everybody, there's no need to involve her in that. she'll just see that you guys aren't happy, and thats what will stick. So long as you treat her with love and respect, you'll find that she'll be fairly receptive and resilient. Kids are stronger than we give them credit for.

by Robert-Boyd 3880 Posts
Posted on 12/5/2007 2:13 PM

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You both need to talk to your daughter together, but she shouldn't have to watch boxes and moving men and stuff. Plan for the physical moving when she is not home. But don't just have her dad MIA. He needs to tell her face to face adn explain what is happening.

by mikem 286 Posts
Posted on 12/5/2007 2:11 PM

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I agree with Samantha make it "fun" for her. She gets to decorate her new room at daddy's house, new toys. I don't think I would have her at the house while he is packing it will be hard on all of you. Do not let her see you worry or upset because she will worry. I am sure you are but keep reassuring her how much she is loved and how lucky she is. Good Luck this weekend.

by Bea4 406 Posts
Posted on 12/5/2007 9:45 AM

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you should both be there and talk to her in a way she will understand. make it positive if you can. something like she gets to go to two houses now and have two bedrooms with more toys. both of you need to tell her that this is not her fault and nothing bad is going to happen and she is safe and loved by both of you forever. you'll need to reinforce this all the time. it would be great if you could show her pictures of where he is going and put it up in her room and explain that it's not far away and that he will call all the time and see her all the time.

by samantha 83 Posts
Posted on 12/5/2007 9:32 AM

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He's Moving Out