Petty...I think you, Rich and I are all pretty much in the same boat (and we've probably got lots of other company). Like you, I'm leaning towards divorce as there has to be something "better" than living your life in a cold frozen emotional climate. I can second what Rich said about real needs not being met.

Pastors and pro-marriage counselors keep saying we can patch things up, but it takes two to make that hat trick work. She's not willing to continue couples counseling, which (as she's fond of saying) tells me everything I need to know. Note I'm willing to try, even though I suspect we'll still break up anyway, just so I'll know in my heart of hearts I did everything I could before giving up. And I am continuing to see a counselor on my own (i.e. just for me, not for us). I think that's important to avoid those regrets down the road. And I might even learn some things that will make the next one better.

I, too, send you my best for a better future.

Yes! I'm basically in the same situation!
There has been no love or romance for a very long time. About 3 months ago we were talking and we asked each other if we loved one another. Neither of us could say we did. We now have very little in common and if we stay together it will NOT be with any kind of romantic connection. I have decided that I can no longer live like that. I've been told that love, passion, and sex aren't needs but to me, right now, they are very real needs that I do not want to live without anymore.

 

You have lost your romantic love. Do you want to try and get it back? Does he want to try? You both need to want to work at fixing the relationship or it is just a waste of time. search your heart for what you really want. Then, when you know, do something about it! Take it from someone who has been there, life is way to damn short to be unhappy.
Do what you need and don't have regrets years down the road.
Believe me, I feel for you and I'm hoping for the best!

I think I want one. He does not.

The thing about compatibility is that it takes compromise, no matter what forces have brought two together, let alone keep them together.  I suggest you continue to maintain any open avenues of honest communication taking place.  This way any compatibility issues are aleviated to a certain extent.  Even in separation, it seems we must meet each other halfway in order to move forward, even if in different directions.  It's not easy, but my feeling is that it helps both parties understand some of the dynamics of such an ordeal.

can you give us more information here.  are you saying he now wants a divorce?  do you?