Divorce Final

I found out today that my divorce is final. I was married 20 years and then my spouse told me over the phone that he had cheated and wasn't coming home...He is already late with child support and discusses stuff with the kids that he shouldn't like money, etc. Why do I still feel conflicting emotions even though I am the one that filed for divorce and wanted it done quickly....

by sjcv 2 Posts
Posted on 8/5/2008 9:27 PM

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Answers for "Divorce Final" (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

Hell one month for every year....i think he took 1 day for every year. 18 years is a long time and I am 8 months...1 year to go...wwwhhhooohhhooo

by dyben 536 Posts
Posted on 8/7/2008 4:33 AM

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wow your stories are so deep,,my life was so bad i didnt see it past the fascade of what i thought marriage was suppose to be,ive been on hold for 8 months now,,he decided it was time for his midlife crises and he didnt have time for us,,but it has taken him 8 months to pay his lawyer and i still havent received my citation,,now if it takes one month for each year when do u start counting?

by Zoe3mom 7 Posts
Posted on 8/7/2008 2:28 AM

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It takes time to heal. I agree ..one month or so for every year. It just takes time for the emotional stuff to get better and for you to get your head screwed back on again. Hang in there. It will get easier.If he is discussing things he shouldn't - talk to your lawyer and see if it can be stopped.

by mtnvly 2302 Posts
Posted on 8/6/2008 11:11 AM

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I was told by a grief conselor to allow 1 month of healing for every year of marriage. Which is true! it took me 16 months to finally be able to look at pictures, talk about the past etc. In time you WILL heal. I have forgiven, but will not forget. Your goal now is to make a better life for yourself. I actually find that I have more $$ now and I love being alone. I am calm and have patience. The best thing is knowing that his GF and him are not so "perfect". My 9 yo always tells me that her dad was "irritated all weekend". When I ask her if she did something, she says GF made him irritated. So you see, in the beginning the grass is greener on the other side, but it all comes back to the brown stuff seeping to the top of the septic tank. LOL. You wil heal, I promise. Just give it time. Also don't rush to find a companion. Heal first. You will be thankful later.

by happilydivorced 8 Posts
Posted on 8/6/2008 8:05 AM

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divorce is so painfull, I was married 12 years but with the idiot for 20 and he left me for the town tramp, also discovered he has been an adulterer for years, had my 16 year old son holding on to his secret and the pig was abusive and evil, tried to make my life hell so I would leave and give him everything including our son. And you know what,,,it still hurts...one thing I know is that we were used to our old lives and felt comfortable and safe, and we were wrong. It is time to look forward to a brighter future on our own. They will suffer the consequences of their actions and all that is left to do is to move on and find someone worthy of you. Personally I am looking forward to finding lots of boy toys and having fun (it has been so long) I suggest you do the same and just know that what you are feeling is normal and real, but there is a better life waiting for you out there and I wish you love and happiness.

by debbiemartini 15 Posts
Posted on 8/5/2008 10:04 PM

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Divorce Final

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Divorce Final

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definitions from "alimony" to "writ of execution"

divorce, custody and child support links by state

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