How does someone know if it's "love" or "not"

The fact that you're thinking about it speaks volumes.  You're worried, you care. You care about your relationship, you care about your family.  I can understand how an affair can tear apart a marriage, but you seem more concerned about what your feelings will do to it. That's a good sign.  It shows promise.

Your question is very real, and like Paula says, it's one that many of us ask.  I think you just need to give it time to answer itself.  I would pray for forgiveness.  Not for yourself, but that you can forgive, and learn to trust, and that your husband can be worthy of that trust, because if you can't get past this--if you can't learn to trust him again, the relationship will end.

 Trust is too foundational. If you can't trust him, you'll learn to resent him if  you stay.  That's not good for the kids.  They pick these things up.

You're doing the right thing by going to counseling.  A good counselor can offer that outside help to bring you two back together.  If nothing else, they can help you answer those questions that nag you.  You're doing the right thing, just stick with it, your questions will be answered.

Hang in there, and keep us posted.

That is something that I would never get over because if he loved me he wouldn't want to cheat.There is no excuse for cheating at least not as for as I'm concerned.But each to their own and I wish you the best.

i think many people here will relate to your sentence " I am not giving up just yet but, what scares me is that my heart did and I don't even know it."