SCARED

More than ever I can relate to what you must be feeling as I myself was right where you are two years ago. All the signs were there but I couldn't get concrete proof until I had it investigated and did some on my own. Once you have at least one fact of cheating, it helps you take that first step of the process to move on in your head; and the rest will follow. None of what's to come will be easy but from what I'm told and from what I've seen from other's, this too shall pass to distant memories. And then you'll have opportunity to be with someone who values you and can care for you the way you deserve to be cared for. The fact that you reached out means you're headed for the light!

If your intuition tells you there is something wrong then there usually is. The signs are there, it's whether or not we choose to see, recognize, or admit to them. Cheating is cheating, whether its sexual or emotional. If you know there is something wrong in your marriage then face it now, not later, when there might be children involved. Any partner that cheats has already left the relationship, you are just pretending, and can you ever really trust again. It has been my expierence, both in my personal relattionship and thru friends, they never just have one affair, and any body that tell you it was a mistake is not being truthful. An mistake is a ONE NIGHT STAND, an affair is thought, planned and carried -out in secret and thats not an easy thing to do, it take a lot of effort and lying. Do not waste your life on someone who is not worth it. Find out and face it.

You need to leave. Why in the world would you stay knowing he is cheating and bringing his mistress to your home? Kick him to the curb. To me, infidelity is one of the worst things a man can do to you. Since you have no children, it will be alot easier to break it off. Its never easy in the beginning but you cant continue to live like this. Help yourself, dont be a victim of denial.

I've been there, but on the husband's side. I wasn't cheating, but that didn't seem to matter. In our case there were too many other things unspoken. Be sure, before you accuse him. It could be a crush, it could be an emotional affair, you need to find out what you're dealing with before you react. MJ is right though, for us to offer any valid advice, we need to know more about what's going on. You sound pretty shaken up, maybe the best first step is to take a breath, collect your feelings and go over what you know for yourself. Remember, we're all here if you need us.

Wow. How do you know all of this? What do you base this knowledge upon? I assume you have spoken with him about it, given the content of your message, however, I can't really give more advice without hearing more of the situation. Open up if you can. -MJ