When can the new girlfriend sleep over?

I've been separated from the ex for almost two years and divorced for one year. I've been dating a great lady for 5 months and we've been sleeping together for 3 months. The last month or so I've had her stay at my house. I have my two teenagers every weekend and most other days as my exwife is rarely around. Recently my 16 year old daughter heard us having sex and got really upset. We weren't screaming or anything, just muted passion at midnight. Now the ex knows and wants to recommend not having "sleepovers" until the kids (15 year old boy and 16 year old girl) are out of highschool. I think it's absurd, but I'm all ears. Of course we'll keep it down from now on, but I can't imagine not sleeping with the one I love for 3 more years so the kids don't think sex is happening? any advice...??? thanks,

by ExMan 3 Posts
Posted on 7/29/2008 11:39 PM

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Answers for "When can the new girlfriend sleep over?" (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

what is more important to you - your penis or your daughter's emotional well being?

your daughter is still having issues with your divorce - it is abundantly clear by her reaction...on top of the fact that is just NOT something kids want to hear, or walk in on accidentally.

So my advice to you is to put your sex life on hold for a bit and work on dealing with your daughter and her issues and feelings and when she is more comfortable with the knowledge you are moving on with your life - then have your lady friend stay over - until then, she needs to go home the nights your children are there...

by spaznskitz 3895 Posts
Posted on 7/31/2008 1:55 AM

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My husband and I are facing this issue right now - but our youngest child is 18 already. We are not yet divorced or living apart but this came up in our session today. I would probably not have a sleep over friend unless I were engaged if my son was staying with me. My son is going to live with my husband and go to college --- and I would prefer that he not sleep with a woman unless he were engaged (in his house with our son home), but then 18 is the legal age of consent so if my son doesn't mind I guess I couldn't say anything. Your kids are younger so I would be careful because you're sending them a message that it's ok to have sex out of wedlock and what's fun for you would be fun for them. If you want them to go there too, then keep showing them the way. Good luck!

by scared27years 75 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 5:35 PM

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The kids are old enough to know what is going on. No child ever wants to think of their parents having sex. I would try to work with your ex and let her know it won't happen while they are in the house. Just know it is hard for your kids to see you with someone besides their mother.

by flowergirl 22 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 8:34 AM

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I am not sure what state you are in but you need to be careful having the girlfriend overnight with the kids there. There are morality issues that can get you into huge trouble but I think it depends on each state. Believe me, I speak from experience. Check your separation agreement and see if it says anything about overnights. Talk to your lawyer to see what the legal aspects are. It is not worth losing your kids over. I would cool it with the girlfriend while the kids are there until you find out. If your ex wants to pursue it , it can get ugly for you.

by mtnvly 2302 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 7:13 AM

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I think it is fine to sleep with your girlfriend. All kids don't like to see their parents split up . It would be the same if the mother had a boyfriend. I wouldn't feel bad. The children will come to realize that this woman has made you happy and it is your best interest as well as theirs. As for the mother... it sounds to me that she is bitter and immature and when the children grow older they will also see this. I hope my advice helps put your mind at ease!

by 1519 8 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 1:43 AM

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When can the new girlfriend sleep over?

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When can the new girlfriend sleep over?

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