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What should I do???

Husband does on-line dating, I found out earlier this month. He's apologized for it and says he's embarrassed. He still guards his cell phone, computer access and credit card bills, says I pry too much into his business and he's the type that needs his privacy. I have been believing this for over 20 years of a rocky marriage. What do you all think?? Why does he have to guard his cell phone? He never brings it home or leaves it in his car anymore - knows I'm suspicious. Am I nagging? What if something happens to kids or me and can't get a hold of him? You think he's hiding something - still dating, a girlffriend?? I'm assuming he's still continuing his on-line communications. What should I do??? I've been a stupidly faithful wife!!!

by nascar 33 Posts
Posted on 7/24/2008 3:45 PM

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I really love my husband unfortunately it hasn't been a great marriage primarily because of the trust issue. After 20++ years, I am looking seriously towards ending this union. If I hadn't confronted him about these things, he probably would be continuing to contact women, e-mailing them and dating. And he'd continue to say "I love you and the kids, I love the family". I just made him extra cautious now. I hate to be the jealous housewife, but I have to live too. I want 100% of his attention! It's very painful to think about divorce, but in the long run, maybe better for all of us. You may want to confront him and tell him what you know. It's so easy to stray away and cheat this day and age.

by nascar 33 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 1:37 PM

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my husband has been doing something similiar. he hides his phone, he takes it to the shower with him. he always, always has it on vibrate so I dont hear it. he looks at it every once in a while and smiles. when I ask if someone sent him a message he will usually go into "why do you need to know everything" mode. I have read a couple of his text messages while he is asleep (nothing too, too bad) more like what bar is everyone meeting at, or I can help you with anything you need. I like you don't know what to think. he does not have names on all his phone numbers but I have called some of them (using *67 before the number so your call comes as restricted) and have found out it is another girl, not that I didn't know that by the messages but I just needed to hear her voice. I like you don't know what to do/think. he just recently asked me for a divorce and I am so confused because I dont want it to end.

by ruval4 6 Posts
Posted on 7/28/2008 3:26 PM

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First of all, you have been a faithful wife and that's good, but his hiding his cell phone really isn't a good sign at all. If it hadn't been for my now ex's cell phone and all of the other woman's messages, I may never have found out what was really going on. Sounds to me as if he is taking those things away from you so you won't find anything out. Or maybe just in case someone does call, he doesn't want it to start anything more than what you've already found out. I discovered that the more I questioned my ex about the cell phone, the more he went into hiding. Perhaps if you just don't mention his cell phone anymore, he will feel more at ease at bringing it home again. But honestly, he shouldn't be hiding it if he wants you to trust him. I wish you the best of luck.

by Deborah-Trevino 272 Posts
Posted on 7/24/2008 3:55 PM

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