He's marrying her!

Yeah--I like the Shoot The Bastard Ex one alot better!!  Believe me that thought has crossed my mind several times, but I have kids to take care and raise since he's a loser and hasn't seen them for visitaiton for over a month now!!  Anyways, I do agree with the thought that usually relationships that start off from them cheating and having an affair usually don't last once the excitement and sneaking around dies down a little--I agree with that.  My ex cheated on me with his cheap tramp (and I agree it hurts knowing that she's a cheap tramp and I definitely don't want him lowering me to her level---No Thank You!!)--anyways, I can see the way he's paranoid when he's not with her maybe thinking she's fooling around on him and I figured you know what if that's how he wants to live his life---so be it--but I'm not living my life that way--always paranoid about my man cheating.  I don't need that!!  I always say what goes around comes around and another one I like to use is--every dog has his day!! (No offense to the cute dogs out there!!--but you know what I mean!!)  I don't know if any of you are religious out there or not, but my mom always says to give it all to God and he will deal with it!  I believe that to.  I also think it kills my ex to pay that child support out because when he gets hit in the wallet, that royally ticks him off--Oh Well--should have kept it in his pants to begin with!!!  Not that he has much to speak of anyways!!!  LOL  This all is pretty painful to your self confidence and self esteem, but you know what I decided I can either laugh or cry and I would rather laugh right now--because I'm done crying over a loser that actually I'm thankful to be rid of!!  To help me get thru this I just wake up every morning and think of another reason I'm glad he's gone and that helps alot!!  Whatever works--I say!!  :)

I think your attitude is great, I always thought that if my husband was going to cheat, it better be with somebody that was worthy, that way, it may help to figure out a reason for him falling in love with somebody else, but no, he cheated with a cheap tramp,shameless, ugly and totally crazy woman who now has a new boyfriend, so, I'm very upset because I feel that he lowered me to her level,  I don't know what is worst, feeling that your man cheats on you with a totally amazing woman or with a totally worthless piece of .... yeah. Anyway, you seem to be a really nice and awesome girl, I'm very sure somebody will see your own qualities and love you for that.

I love it! Stupid Total Bastard Ex is great.  I also thought of Shoot The Bastard Ex. Oh well, it's good to laugh! I get so depressed each month when I get my support check although I'm so scared that it won't come and thankful when it does come.  A therapist said I am feeling his hatred for me that he has to send me any money since it is his god.  This whole process is so painful, sometimes unbearable and I'm so trying to realize that this person will never be in my life again after so many years.  He was so cruel but because I don't have any kids it's really tough being on my own after so many years. I spent half of my life with him.  You are all so helpful and funny. I really appreciate hearing what you are doing to deal with this situation in your lives.

Be happy for them.   I know you said nice things about the new MRS., however, would you be friends with someone that has affairs with married men?  She deserves seeing the true side of your ex.  I say be happy for yourself too.

 

My ex married his "affair" and is now being cheated on by her.  He is just too dumb to know it yet. (we have a mutual friend that she confides in) She is a gold digger and wants to take as much as she can with her.  I say they deserve each other.  It would appear that very few marriages that start from an affair, make it once the excitement of the sneaking is gone. 

Ohhhhh--I like the Stupid Total Bastard Ex one!!!!  That one describes my ex to a T!!!  I'm ready for some cocktails and cheetos myself!!!  Bring it on!!!  Yeah my ex moved in with his little tramp right after we divorced and she was still married.  They both deserve each other.  He told both my boys they need to get used to her because he's going to marry her someday!!!  You know what I have to say---I wish the bitch good luck to anyone who can make him happy--because he will never be happy!!!!  He's a selfish self-centered stupid SOB and noone can make him happy--he's not happy with himself and he has a dysfunctional family that I'm glad I'm out of now!!!!  Screw 'em all--think I need a drinky drink now!!!  Just tired I guess--but anyways, I don't know if they will get married or not and I don't really care because they both really make me sick and deserve each other.  I totally don't respect either one of them, the reason I say this is she walked out on her two kids and left them with their dad to be with him--a LOSER!!  So whatever floats their boat, they are both so much alike it makes me sick!!!  Plus she's been dvorced 2 times already and is a known ho bag at work (he met her at work!!).  So knowing that and knowing that he is paranoid when she's not with him, thinking she's messing around on him--gives me pleasure!!!  Sorry to say that--but I can't say that I wish the best for them--because I don't, not after what they did to me and my family and also to her family and her little kids!!!  I can't imagine doing what she did--walking out on her daughter while she's yelling at the door--mommy please don't leave me!!!!  Sorry ass excuse for a mom and a dad if you ask me!!  Oh well I've vented now--give me a drink and some cheetos I'm HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Baal, how about, Stupid -Total- Bastard- Ex does that sound better for you? It still fits. LOL

Thanks Paula1.  I have tried to figure it out and it was so easy.  I thought maybe it was stinkbox.  Oh well.  It just didn't fit the usual four letter words I wanted it to be!

stbx is Soon To Be Ex

Could someone please clue me in to what STBX stands for?Elane, I know that someday I'm going to see my ex with another woman and although I'll be happy for him, the pain is going to be pretty bad.  So, I feel for you. My cousin already saw him out to lunch with a tall blond which is what he always said he was attracted to.

Thanks for allowing me to be the reason for your first post!  Glad to hear you got some satisfaction (albeit what, 6 years later?).  But, it seems like my ex and the "fiance" are well suited.  Yuck.  She's no hoe, nor is she a housewife, but just a normal woman.  I wonder if she knows how he really is?  If she does, and is okay with him, then they really ARE suited!  I guess if I look at him from an outsider perspective, he's a normal guy.  My personal experiences with him just were not always good.  But then we knew (at least I did) when we got married it was really not going to work.  Nobody wants to admit that when they're young and stupid, but it was true.  And that's exactly what happened. 

It was weird news to hear at first, that he's getting married, but honestly I'm over it now.  I don't know that I would marry again, it's not really that important to me.  I have no bitterness toward him anymore either, since he's no longer my headache to deal with.  She keeps him occupied and "happy", so he's actually much more pleasant to deal with.

Is that weird to say?

Hello Elane, This will be my first post on 360 and I am dedicating it to you! My ex husband cheated openly for months and then walked out on me and our 3 children to be with a younger, skanky gold-digger. The man was totally blinded by this fire-crotch and could not think straight. He divorced me after 15 years of marriage and took his money with him. Well to make a long story short, he tried to make a hoe a housewife and everything went downhill from then. She treated him like crap, including his family and spent his money like it was the last days of her life. They lived together for 5 years first, and then he cajoled her into marrying him. Ha! That lasted for 6 months and then girlfriend bailed!
The word on that was, she could not put up with him and his control-freak crap! He wanted her to cook, clean, slave and kowtow to his family and friends, and she said "Up yours!" ( While she was a girlfriend he could not force her to do anything. But once she became a wife, the beast emerged.) Been there, done that! He became the biggest laughing-stock. People are still talking about this in our town. Because he stepped on so many toes and crossed the lines of decency to flaunt his whore out and about, no other respectable people would have anything to do with him now. So he stayed without any friends.
Guess who he came crying to as a "I'm-on-my-last-rope- please-help-me" resort?  Me the ex! UNFREAKINBELIEVABLE eh? It's amazing what life can actually put at your feet and then test you to see how you are going to handle it! All I could say to him was: "Yikes, I am sorry for your loss."  Smirk!   WTF! Did he think I was going to embrace him with open arms and take him back? Ah, no! Not in this lifetime. My advice to him was handle your business. Move on. So yes, what goes around comes around 3x kick ass! I didn't have to do crap. Payback is a bitch named Karma, who has great memory! I have had many a Coke and Rum with this little diddy! So here's to you Elane and cheers!

Boy, I go away for the weekend and so much has happened. I had no internet or cell phone :(  YOU ARE MUCH BETTER THAN I AM. Here is MY take. If my stbx married the OTHER WOMAN, I would have a problem. My kids , I and family would know that she was involved in the breaking up of their family...yes I know he had the bigger part, but anyway...if he meet someone later that he wanted to marry, I think I would feel a lot different. My stbx wanted the divorce and cheated....I didn't "ask" for either, oh well. All these situations suck, I guess. I'll come to you when my time comes. You have a great attitude about things...when are we meeting for COCKTAILS???? I'm read, are you? Let's celebrate!

Oh man...I can totally relate to you on this one...though my ex didn't marry the little wh---...I freaked when I found out he was dating her just four months after I left him for cheating on me with another woman he works with! I actually confronted her and told her everything about him....I told her she was probably married because thats what he does...he dates the married ones because they're safe....they're noncommittal. I told her what a cheap a** he was and she wouldn't be driving that Lexus for long if she stayed with him...he'd make her trade it in for a Toyota. I told her how they may be talking right now during the honeymoon period but after he got used to her he'd stop...and he'd talk to another woman because that's what he does! He's a cheater! And finally I told her, if he'll do it WITH you....he'll do it TO you. Well...she actually broke it off with him after that...and she WAS married!! So he was pissed for like a month, then around Christmas and my birthday, he starts calling me and wants to go to counseling with me. So I went, twice, but four days after the second session, my daughter drives down the street he lives on...and the bi*** is at his house again! Needless to say I told him counseling was done....and then I called the B's husband and told him EVERYTHING....sent him the love letters my ex emailed to her (Its bad but I hacked into his email) and I emailed him pictures of her car in front of her house. LMAO! Her husband and I became friends, though we've never met....and he stayed with his wife...(good luck on that...this is her SECOND affair!) LOL! So guess what happens next?! The "other woman" calls ME and wants ME to stop talking to HER husband!!! How funny is that! You better believe I took the opportunity to ask her how if felt to have the shoe on the other foot...and I told her that I'd talk to her husband any time he called me....at least I had more morals and values not to be F---ing him!!! Ahhh...revenge is SWEET! LOL!

Five cosmos and no hangover ... Good lord, this sister is full of surprises!!! Am glad you are up and running again. Take care!

Hello Girls!  All is well.  Cocktails lulled me into a wonderful sleep last night, and, no hangover this morning.  Thanks for all the love.  No, I was never mad at you, I was just lonely.  Bit of a pity party, yes, but every gal needs cheetos now and then.  Thank the Lord there was no cake in my house, because it would've been pillaged as well!!

Life is back to normal, but that was some pretty weird news to hear, even though I knew it would happen.  Whatever.  Like I said before...gee, what a lucky girl she is!

PS Alison....my favorite drink?  Whatever's in the fridge (yesterday was all about cosmos!)

Okay, you either did a number on yourself or are mad at us, lol... humm. which is it?  Either way hope today was better for you. keep us posted.

Giiiiirl!  I am just waiting for this day to happen for me!  Unfortunately, I was already good friends with the "other woman" when she became the "other woman."  They both lied to me for MONTHS, even though I told them that I sensed something was going on.  This is going to sound so "klassy", but I almost can't wait for them to get married so they can fall flat on their faces...is that just wrong?!?

I can't imagine how you must feel right now, although I'm sure at best, it's a mixure of both good and bad.  I think  Bad because who honestly wants to see a person "happy" that has done them wrong; but good that it's another milestone in the whole divorce dynamic. it's think it's healthy to have some cocktails now and then (hell, I went to Vegas and had ALLLL the cocktails lol).  Cheetos definitely help too!

Seriously, though, I think you are perfectly normal for feeling the way you are. I don't know any person that would be totally happy with their ex marrying the "other woman."  It's new right now and going to take time to process, so allow yourself to feel the feelings no matter what they are and reflect on them.  Come here to vent, and have a cocktail or two (even 5 hehe) to take the edge off!  Cheetos are optional lol..

Cheers,
Shawn

PS Thanks for posting this...it takes so much courage to put yourself out there and open up.  You guys are all so helpful to newbies like me!

Knock, knock ... Hey girl, are you up yet? We are all here screaming "We love you!!!"

I read your post again. Let me tell you how I felt when my stbx brought his "spiritual wife" home to meet my in laws a couple weeks ago. I felt angry and uneasy. He is a horrible person, not only by my standards, but also by many others. And yet, she has no clue whatsoever. I believe they are happy now, maybe very happy. Do I think they deserve the happiness? Not really. Do I think he deserves her? Not really. But life is life, and sometimes it isn't fair. We have no control over others' lives, but we should be in charge of our own. Focus on yourself! Let them do whatever they want as long as you are not involoved. I set a goal for myself. One day, I wish I can treat my stbx as a nobody to me and as a father to our 2 childrens, no more and no less. I probably will need a lot more than 5 cocktails to reach that goal!

BTW - What is your favorite drink?

Good Morning Elane,
Hope your feeling okay. All I can say is ADVIL =) I was thinking of your post and I'm sorry I couldn't write a little more. My little one wanted all of my attention last night. He thinks I'm reading jokes when i'm on this site. When we were doing your thread on sex, I was laughing so much sitting there all by myself and so he asked, " whats so funny what are you reading?" so I said they're jokes, well of course he wanted me to read it to him, yeah, OH NO.
So anyway, no he says all I do is read jokes on the computer. hee hee

Anyway, back to YOU, hellooo  Angie.. geez.. You know I cant be happy for them. They are both dirty and yes, Alison is write. They are just wrong for getting involved with married men.  I know the powers that be aren't gonna bless that marriage. Adultery is high on his NOT To DO LIST!! And, stop planning pity parties, Keep your kids close to you. They keep us so busy we don't have time to think of all the crap.  You forgot all about the Island party we were working on. lol

I hope you have a better day today!! xoxoxo
 

Sorry! I was already in bed! You are loved! I wish I was there having a drink. But I have to get up so dam early and go to work! I hope you feel better in the morning. (no hang over please)

Sorry, sister! I got caught up in some boring paper work for my attny. Oh, don't I hate this divorce thing. Well, I guess you are sound asleep now. Yep, with all those cocktails ...

You and trisha are too kind. I understand these other women are probably good people, but they all have one major character flaw. They date married men. To me, they do not respect the value of a family at all. We don't have to wish them anything. If I wish them well, I will be too phony. If I wish them not so well, I will be too trashy. It is OK to feel down because we are still recovering from the pain they left us. Can any decent people feel good about that when they walk down the aisle?

Sweet dreams and let me know if you feel better tomorrow, oh actually today!

Hey elane:
I would have liked some of my exes girlfriends. They were really decent people. It's not their fault they got caught in one of his lies.  At least your ex didn't marry her while he was still married to you. Yes, I feel sorry for the china doll he married. Poor thing has no idea.
It's not fair that they move on so easily with no conscience to worry them.
You're smart and you always give great advice. I have listened to what you told me. I'm not pushing so hard to get things done.
Hope you feel well in the morning. You take care and I wish you much happiness.

We do love you Elane! wish I could be right there with you. Cocktails and cheetos sound great. I was busy bathing my little one. Sorry.
I  know this is bitter sweet. Its closure but it hurts. He's the one who caused the problems and he's the happy one( for now) !

Okay.  Nobody loves me.  I'm going to sleep.  Me, my cocktails, and my cheetos.

Ooooh...you know, cake sounds good.  Wish I had some.  Now on cocktail #5 though, and driving is noooo goooood.  Nobody likes my post either.  Crap. It's getting harder to stay my "glass is half full" self, guys!