Help with Kids

I am not there at all, this is all fresh and new to me but my son has had to lie to me for months while two adulters decided to hurt their spouses. They wern't counting on the fact that the children are so much more important than their sex life and the ripple effect of all the other family members who are devastated also.

Every good parent has the guilt. My situation is very similar to yours and the kids have kept me in this marriage way beyond where I thought I would break. But, I also know that my happiness and the stbx happiness are also important for my children. The key that I have found thats helping along is that I am on friendly terms with her. Despite the pain and hurt, I get along with her well enough that she can talk openly with me about the other man. And because of this attitude I know my children will fair better than most because we won't fight in front of them. An we will remain close even, as difficult as this is, even if she ends up with the other man I will be the bigger person. As for daycare, my children actually enjoy daycare and take a lot from it. They interact with other children, have a structured day, and get plenty of us every night and weekend. I'm not interested in fighting for their custody because I feel confident that she will always have their best interest first and despite being a terrible wife she is an excellent mother. As long as I have joint custody there will be no fight on this front. Good luck to you.