Retirement money

i am still confused .. if i choose to take the settlement amount that he is offereing from his 401 k , which is no where near i believe i deserve, but no matter how angry i feel i am always trying to do the right thing.. i am one of these nice people who is a good person and get taking advantage of .. you know the one who comes in last. hubby laid a bombshell on me june 2,2007 that he was no longer happy wanted a divorce, behind my back he had gotten an apt. told me he would be moving in apt on june 16th and he did.. at the begining i would take 50.00 per week for support. the house was up for sale, i was to live there until it sold . he was going to upkeep the house payment , and bills to run the home. with his promises house went into foreclosure, and only some of the living expenses were paid. i would like to settle . but a friend made me aware to find out exactly what he has in 401 k and that being his second wife , cause first wife passed in a car wreck in 1992 that i would be able to recieve his retirement money if i was his surviving spouse whether we stay married or divorced . if i am entitled to it i want that to typed into the settlement papers . i am tired of being screwed. i just don't want to make the wrong move and get screwed .