It's funny how differently men and women view how to love. Men seem to show love by gestures...doing things like working hard, the way you did, and providing.  Women tend to run more on the verbal side. 

Anyway, there's really no set time about how long it'll take to feel better.  But one thing for sure, is you need to grieve the loss of your marriage.  However you do that, you need to cut yourself a break and feel all the sadness, the anger, the loneliness.  It's all a part of it, and we all go through it.  If you try and suppress it, it will show up some other time.  BUT, realize that you can't change her decisions, and you can't control what she's doing, or make her see your side.  She obviously has a different life already. 

It's harder for you because she's already dealt with it.  She appears to have dealt with it while you weren't aware of it.  And you just got hit with it.  She's just had more time than you to come to terms with it, that's all. 

Know that all you are feeling is normal, and healthy.  It's a death, of sorts, a death of a marriage, and you must deal with it appropriately.  When you're ready, you'll start to feel better.  Give yourself a break, friend.  You deserve it.