I have been sitting on the divorce desicion for almost a yr now. I'm new to this site. So bare with me.

My whole marriage my spouse raped me, was addicted to porn and video games and very abusive emotionally and controlling.

To make a long story short I was always the one to try to seek help everytime. I have been hurt continuously despite the help. We have done counselling, classes, retreats, etc.

Nothing worked. He would say he was sorry. gonna change and actually look like it for a couple months then go back to what he was doing.

Last August I was 9 weeks preggo with our 3rd girl. I had hypermesis. I was severly sick and throwing up hours and hours everyday. I just got out of the hospital from being on iv's when my spouse decided to rape me after I told him to never have unconsenual sex with me ever again. He didnt care.

That was the last straw.

We finally separated in January. He claims he has changed yet he has hurt me again twice since. Just me. No one else.

He tries to convince me im crazy, things arent as bad as they are etc.

I gave it almost 10 yrs. I am scared. I want a divorce. I realize he is an abuser. I need to get away from him. But I have no job. No money. How do I get through this. I have 3 little girls. I want to be able to provide for them.

I did give it all I had right? I'm making the right decision?

How do I seek help?