Very dramatic!!!

Thank you all so much. I really am glad that you wrote.
 I agree, but not every teen from divorced family is behaving ugly.
we had so many ugly days and its only good (sorry for saying it) when his ex and their kids are not in the picture. If anyone ever told me something like this, I would say "just run away from him", but for some reason I can't. We are together for 2.5 years now, his whole family (including his mom, his ex, kids) they all like drama and if everything is good, they need to find something amd make sure its not good. The only person who really see that we are happy is his father. You know, I have my own kids, but I never heard my kids talk in any bad way to anyone. His ex told their kids that they are crazy and they were hospitilized into mental inst. Girls taking sleeping pills, birth control, they are screwd all the way. They are very demanding. I really cant stand his kids. I dnt hate them, I just cant see how they treat him.
I know it souds very bad and makes me look like a bad person, but nothing I can do and we want to be together when everything is good :(
Thank you for listening

Spaz, from your lips to my stbx's and his OW's ears.  There isn't a heart attack involved but what you said is my girls and stbx's situation to a tee.

 

He chose the other woman.  One day he will eventually reap what he sows.  My oldest (20) calls him her sperm donor and my youngest (16) says her daddy died but she is going to counseling with the stranger he is because everyone says she has to.  I have tried and tried and tried to get them to open up to him to no avail.

He was extremely rude last night on the phone.  I'm done trying to be peacemaker.

Thanks, as always, for telling it like it is.  It  helps when you are in a similar situation to hear someone validate what you are going thru.

Raymonda, I'd listen to spaz.  It may have been harsh and painful but the truth usually is.

I agree with the moderator.  Teens of divorce can be confused, scared, angry kids. Reverse the situation, what if it were you that had the heart attack and he blamed your kids and told them never to come back.  You better believe your family would be wanting you to kick him out.  Take a good look at yourself.  Your boyfriend needs to salvage what he can with his kids.  If you fit in the picture after that good for you, but you've destroyed any hope of the kids trusting you.

I agree with the moderator.  Teens of divorce can be confused, scared, angry kids. Reverse the situation, what if it were you that had the heart attack and he blamed your kids and told them never to come back.  You better believe your family would be wanting you to kick him out.  Take a good look at yourself.  Your boyfriend needs to salvage what he can with his kids.  If you fit in the picture after that good for you, but you've destroyed any hope of the kids trusting you.

How many years have you been with your BF and his family?

Let's get something straight here - as my husband is a cardiologist and I'm an attorney, I have double to say in this matter. I'm warning you in advance, I'm about to be harsh.

STRESS can cause heart attacks - not people. If your bf didn't manage his stress over his divorce, co-parenting etc - than the heart attack is HIS OWN DOING.

Children of divorce should never be blamed for a single damn thing EVER. They were rude? Gee, what a surprise! They are CHILDREN OF DIVORCE! Teens can be hurt the hardest when their parents are split - they are acting on pure confused emotion - that I'm going to bet their parents (your bf and his ex) haven't really done much to fix or help them through the breakup of their world.

SHAME ON YOU for blaming his children. That was a rotten horrible shrewish thing to do and it is no wonder his family is telling him to give you the boot.

 

You can apologize till the sun doesn't shine anymore, but you made an unforgivable mistake - you aren't his wife, you have NO SAY on who can come in and out of his life or home - even if you live there.

 

What do you do? You bow out of the picture for now and let him rebuild his relationship with his children which SHOULD be far more important to him than you ever would be - regardless if they are "rude" on occasion. You encourage him to get family counseling with his kids.

You may be invited back into the fold one day, but more than likely not - if he picks you over his children, that would not make him a very good father and the rudeness his kids showed him, may have been deserved.

Did their dad say they couldn't be with him or is that something you told them on your own?
Honestly- I would not say they caused his attack but may have had a part in it.
I would also say make no decisions yet - he needs to recouperate...

Your boyfriend teens caused his heart attack?  I highly doubt they were the 'cause' since hardening of the arteries and plaque build-up takes years.

Therapy, Therapy, counseling.

Why is everyone telling him not to be with you? Why don't his kids want him to be with you? They're his kids, so why did you tell them they can't live with their father? I don't have the whole story here so don't know how to answer.