I really don't know what to do...advice please...

Changed,  when you both first got married were you a believing christian or was that something that happened after you were married?  I haven't read the specific scriptures lately but short of adultery I think the believing spouse is suppose to stay with an unbelieving spouse if they desire that.  If you both still love each other and the main conflict is your belief in God then maybe you can show him the love of God through your actions as a believing spouse.  He may have a change of heart if you demonstrate this regardless of his actions.  Sometimes God works in mysterious ways if we are patient and wait on his timing instead of our own.  As far as working hard try and show him what you have to do with your internship and that during that period the pay is probably not what it will be when you are finished.  Good luck.

It's too bad you all didn't do this before bringing a child into the world.  I hope that your child will at the very least be content living between two separate parents.

well...its good tht U made ur mind then good luck!

Sorry but I left alot of information out which is clearly what you all need in order to see the real situation. I have put my religious beliefs on the side for him and he does not care to join me. I refuse to keep pretending like I don't believe in God. He doesn't have to join me but he ridicules me for going to church, etc. He is degrading to me, he believes that since I do not make money (currently interning) that I do not work hard. He is always negative and unhappy and I refuse to be around it any longer. Thank you guys for your support but my decision has been made. I want to be happy, not content for the rest of my life.

As others have said the grass is not always greener. My advise? Go to counseling- take time for the 2 of you . Give it some time with both of you  working on it and see how it goes. Divorce is hard. It may be the right thing for you but you need to be certain before making a move.

People will continually change throughout their lives and marriage.  Change doesn't have to mean you throw in the towel on the marriage though.  I would go to counseling together and part of the discussion should be about your goals , dreams and ambitions.  You can both have different ideas about where you want to go and still be married if you choose to.  Divorce is very hard and I would leave that as as last resort.  Making the marriage commitment is suppose to mean you will grow with each other and support each other as you change throughout your marriage.  It doesn't sound like either of you have done anything to be a dealbreaker like abuse or infidelity so you have much to work with in your marriage.  Good luck to you.

the grass is not always greener on the other side. just try to remember that.. listen to what everybody has said here. try to work it out. go to thearpy..if after that you still feel the same then go ahead and do it. as long as you know that you tried..maybe you guys just got disconnected. try to reconnect.

hope this helps

cherbear

As far as him not wanting you to stay if you're not happy, this could mean several things.

One, no one wants to be with a person who doesn't want them.

Two, he feels the same way but feels he made a commitment.

That statement doesn't really tell you how he feels.

If you've read some of the blogs on this site, hopefully by now you know that getting a divorce, even if you're the one who wanted it, makes you feel like you've been run over by a truck. It isn't easy, it isn't simple. It does not make you happy. It makes you desperately unhappy for a long, long time.

You're at an age where most of the men aren't really interested in getting married at all, at least until they've gotten a long way into their careers. For college grads, that means at least 26 to 28. For advanced degrees (grad school mba, atty, etc) that's around 32 to 35. Why would they want to be with a woman who already has a child and is divorced when nearly everyone your age has never been married and has no kids? It's going to be tough to find a new partner in your situation.

All of us grow and change throughout our lives. That's why love is a commitment, not a feeling.

You need to make up your own mind, but hopefully you will do so with your eyes wide open and not living in fantasy. It's a tough call.

i think counselling would help greatly, whether you stay together or part.  keep in mind divorce is tremendously hard on the kids.  you want to go threw all avenues for your own sake before you go down that ugly road of divorce.  even the easy ones hurt.  when my 1st one ended it killed me that i was not going to be w/ my children every day.   possible that loss and other stupid reasons made me a prime sucker to be taken advantage of by my second.   be careful.  make sure you have done all that is possible to save what you have.  and what ever you do, avoid the mistakes i and others on this site have made in our past.  read alot of our profiles, blogs and what not.   i wish you good luck. 

I would try and work it out with him.  You seem to want to "start your life" now, but you've already married and have a child.  It is not going to be easier getting rid of your husband and father.  Now if he is abusive to you, or problems of that nature I can understand.  But it's not easier, and meeting/dating is hard when most guys your age wouldn't want to be with someone who's already married with a kid and also, when would you have time to go out being a single parent working all day and taking care of your child at night.  That would pretty much be your life.

You guys don't have to have exact same goals, support each other's interests.  One common goal you both should have is wanting to raise your child together.

I would have to say I am in the exact situation that you are right now.  I am 28 and met my husband at 15.  We have been together 12.5 years and married for nine, and have three little girls.  I have already initiated the separation process by getting my own health insurance, getting my own bank account and credit card.  I have already started to split stuff 50/50.  I just moved 700 miles from him with my kids to my parents house and he will be moving here in another month.  Sometimes I think I married too young (19).  I had my first kid at 20, then another at 21, and then another at 23.  So, now I am here...what next?  He has told me before that he will help me pack and move out, but without the kids.  It has always seemed about the kids to me.  But, now that he has seen me go this far, he is wanting to change and work things out.  I have never gone this far before in one of my separation/divorce threats.  But, it seems every time I get closer to divorcing him.  Luckly enough, since I have moved states, I can't legally divorce him for another five months, so that gives me time to really be sure I want to do this.  But, it is weird because I don't miss him all that much and I don't want to talk to him.  If anything, I am lonely for a companion in general.  But, from what I understand, that is normal.  So, I feel your pain.  Making the decision to tell him I wanted to separate was the hardest thing I have done.  And all the other financial steps are making it closer to the final thing.  But, I still have that feeling I will regret my decision.  So, I am not sure what to do at this point.  Just know I know exactly what you are going through right now.

You talked and he said if you are not going to be happy to move on.  That is huge, sounds like he is not happy either but going to let you be the bad person and initiate the divorce process.  If you do be prepared get all the financial records, insurance and retirement records together.  This is not an easy process and the person you married for richer or poorer, for better or worse sounds like he chose the first of each option.  Best of luck this all hurts.

Hi!....well first of all... I can absolutely understand where ur coming from about the dreams and the goals... I was always the ¨never get married ¨type of gal, buut I did got married...and this is what I learned... been married and having a family DOESNT MEAN u have to leave ur goals... been a single mom is NOT EASY, and if u love ur hubby, and he is willing to support u, there shoulnt be an issue... at 24, and after 8 years togetehr it may be some other reasons (u didnt party enough, u didnt date enough) but once u have a family, u need to place ur self in a diferent stage... Divorce is a hard and complicated situation, so dont rush ur self just because U think u may need more freedom to go back to school or so... My advise will be... Try to think about the posibility of going back to school, and work ur dreams around the family u have... a partner is for good and for worse and some times we do need more freedom but that doesnt mean they dont FIT in our lifes... part of been married is making every aspect of ur life fit into the other...

Best of luck!!!