divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

Community  :: Chat  :: Advice  :: Emergencies

Details

Read more posts in group: Chat

 Tags
ADVERTISING PARTNERS

Please help...

We've been married for 8 years, and yes we've had our problems.  But none of them has been too serious.  No cheating, no abuse.  She told me 1 week into my deployment she wants a divorce.  We had agreed upon a separation beforehand, knowing that she wasn't happy in our marriage.  About a month before I left, she reversed her decision and told me how much she loved me and needed me in our life.  After I was gone she said she couldn't sleep and realized that she couldn't be with me anymore.  I am still in love with her and I have been trying to get over her but I just came back to spend some time with my daughter before I leave for 6 months and realized that there is no way I can live with myself without her.  She has been everything to me, my support system for so long. I have approached her over the phone and in person about trying to work this out.  She tells me she isn't the same person that fell in love with me, i have no more options, but still want her so bad.
by satguy   7 Posts
Posted on 8/13/2009 11:59 PM
Get AlertsGet Alerts!
Sent to Friendsend to friend
0


Comments for "divorce360.com | Please help..."  (5) (You must be logged in to answer)
wow...U have no Idea how much ur story hit me...Im on the OTHER side of the coin...Im a soon to be ex ARMY wife...and I always support my husband in every aspect... while he was deployed or at home... But he became a hero out and a monster in... it was a terrible situation all the cheating, I didnt trust him...but I was always told that my work was to understant...PTSD, stress, etc etc etc...
 Good luck! be strong... be safe...
by carossi   141 Posts
Posted on 8/22/2009 10:31 PM
0



Like James said, thank you for your service.  I am a retired military spouse and I, firsthand, know of your sacrifice.  With that said, you need to get your head in focus dear.  You can't go on deployment with all this strife.  It won't be good for you or your fellow service members.

There is a book by Dr. James Dobson, "Tough Love" that you need to read.  If you can get it before you leave take it with you.  If not, send me your address and I will get it to you.  Send it to me through d-mail on here. 

In the meantime spend as much time as you can with your daughter before you leave, get your wits about you and try your darndest to be strong.
by flutterby   829 Posts
Posted on 8/14/2009 10:30 AM
1



Actually it probably is pushing her away if you are around her calling her giving her gifts, etc too much. It was when my husband did, after I left. Please give her some time to realize she misses you and needs you. And if she doesn't, she is probably having a relationshiup herself. So, please don't push at this point. She needs space. But emails, of the "How have you been" variaty every once a month is ok, and that is it beyond having to talk to her.
by tigerlili   9 Posts
Posted on 8/14/2009 8:43 AM
0



I get what you are saying, and thank you for your support.  But she never had that worry, in fact she has told me before to go get some but later said she knew I wouldn't.  My faithfulness has never been questioned...I don't want to be with anyone else.  I try every day to show her how much I love and care for her, but I worry it's pushing her further away.  At the same time, I feel like holding it in is doing bad things to me, making me feel aggressive and defensive at the same time.  Thanks for the quick answer.
by satguy   7 Posts
Posted on 8/14/2009 12:22 AM
0



First off, thanks for your service.  Hopefully she will realize that you are doing your job, not going out looking to nail som tail.  You are in a dang tough situation, I hope the love shines through and she can see it.  Be safe and be well.
by Jamesalone   2778 Posts
Posted on 8/14/2009 12:07 AM
0





Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

 
expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. When Is a Marriage Worth Saving?
10 Things to Think About When Considering Whether to Stick with a Relationship

2. 8 Things No One Ever Tells You about Divorce
Number Three May Surprise You

3. Divorcing? 15 Costly Financial Mistakes
Settlements: 15 Critical Financial Mistakes Often Made in the Heat of Divorce

4. Beginning Checklist: Planning to File for Divorce
12 Steps to Consider if You or Your Partner Have Decided to File for Divorce

5. Are You Ready For Divorce?
Three Key Questions You Must Ask Yourself