I don't know what to do

I feel the same way! Most days have been better but today was especially worse for me. I have been relying on my family and friends and my amazing therapist for support. Honestly, it just gets so draining telling them I feel like shit and want the dirt bag back. My heart does, but my mind knows otherwise. My therapist pointed out to me how even tho I am so sad and miss him just like you my mind is still reasonable and knows I deserve better. And we do! You deserve to be happy and have someone who loves you and is not going to throw that away. Knowing I have this website helps me. I like to blog about my issues and read about others experiencing different aspects of this horrible rocky road. Don't worry we will all get out of this strong one way or another. Keep in touch and good luck!

I am lonely, but I am working on that. My goal is be alone, but not lonely. Does that make any sense?

I've been single before, and to be honest, I kind of liked it. That's where I need to get my head now. I'm trying to look at it as a chapter in my life that is now over, to remember the good times and come to terms with the bad, to forgive those who have tresspassed against me, that I may forgive myself.

No choice in the matter, just as if a tornado had come through, flattened the home and carried him/her off to Oz, there's nothing we can do about it, so we just have to move on. To not do so will relegate us to depression and ultimately insanity..............nobody wants to live like that.

I feel the same way also.  I miss my best friend, someone who I shared everything with.  I second guess myself everyday wondering if I did the right thing filing for divorce.  It's when he puts his booze first and his 5 year old twins second that I realize I did make the right choice. 

I too am trying to learn to be alone for a while and find out more about myself and who I am.  I am trying to put my kids first, but I too am struggling being a first time single mother.  I can only say that I am taking it day by day and I have to start to work on things myself like trying to be calm when I talk to him because I feel like the comments he makes are only to set me up to be pissed off at him.

I never realized the true colors a divorce brings out in a person and that people do put themselves first and their children second.

I am trying hard to find out who I am as a person and what my likes and dislikes are.  Lonliness is hard but one day you will look back and know in the end you are alot stronger than you think.  I know I want to believe that!!!

Guy the loneliness gets much better.What you must do is find things to occupy yourself and keep busy.Join support groups for divorce.If you are a single parent think about joining a local chapter of Parents Without Partners.It is an international group with locations everywhere.After my first divorce,I had custody of my children.PWP was great,there were activities every night and co-ed sports for adult interaction.I had expected a meat market type atmosphere but it was nothing like that.
Try to establish the difference of being alone and lonely.I treasure time I am alone and minimize when I feel lonely.Of course companionship is what we really miss and desire and it never seems to come quick enough.

Loneliness is the worst part...but at the same time is so hard to look for company. I know how you feel, for over a year i missed my ex-wife soo much, i couldn't grasp the idea of she being gone until i hit rock bottom, the part i used to miss the most was holding her right before we fell asleep. I'm still trying to accept my situation and embrace my solitude. Be strong, most women in my family have been single moms, the world is still yours, but now you get a little one to share it with =)

i feel the same way

Take it day but day that is all I am doing there are days I have to take it hour by hour! I write my feeling down and it really does help no matter what I am feeling I write it. I think I am going to have to treat this like a death and give myself the closure I need because I only get hurt and mad when I try to talk to him. I think one min I am fine then I get scared and want to run to the person who was my best friend and when I look I remember he is GONE!

I honestly know exactly how you feel.  I still love my wife and am so afraid to tell her that I still need her to tell me the things she has always told me.  For the past month, I have been on and off thinking I can get over her.  Her betrayal, not that she cheated but lied, hurt but nothing hurts more than knowing when I come back from my deployment in 6 months I have to live alone, without her, and without my daughter.  I wish I could give you better advice, but the only thing that has worked for me was to hide how I really felt, suck it up, and make the most of each day, even though the pain never really goes away.  Like michelle919 said above, if you need someone to talk to, I am here @ satguy@gmail.com.

OMG you are singing what my song was - until things got really shitty.  So I reached out to old friends and made a few new ones.  I still have my moments of weakness but after what I've gone through this far.  I wish he'd just drop over :o)  (and that is me being nice).  Best of luck to you.  You can always email me if you want to @ mmwilson0516@aol.com.

Take the emotions and feelings out of the equations.  He know how you feel about him (that you are longing for him and his touch) he will use that against you.  Be careful not to believe his lies because they are coming.  Be strong!!!

The loneliness will eat you up.   It's eating me up.  But I also know that the "old food" of my marriage is spoiled and will only make me sick if I fixate on it.   I'm seeking new, healthy food -- not necessarily in relationships right now, but in positive, fulfilling outlets like my hobbies, friendships, etc.
Hang in there ... one hour at a time ...

Keep up the front, it'll be come a habit and pretty soon you'll actually believe it!

I'm sorry you're lonely, I feel just like you do.

Sometimes I worry that my "I'm okay" front is a bit too good, and by seeming so strong I don't give people the opportunity to be supportive, like I know they want to.