He's going to marry the Slut!

The ink wasn't even dry on our decree (including her excessive spousal support award) before she had the jobless bum she was cheating on me with move in.

Oh, I have been in your shoes. Our divorce was final the end of May of last year and he married his WFB at the beginning of July. He used money he should have sent me for our kids on her ugly ass wedding set.

But I give it a few more years before he does to her, what he did to me. It might take some time, but you will discover he did you a favor. And she will get exactly what's coming to her.

  **huggs**  I know you have heard it will get better in time and you  just dont see it now. BUT it will!!!
  Let him have her and her have him  because  there are some traits that people wont, dont and cant change.   Look in the mirror now and look at all your pain and all the hurt you have gone through with all of this and then  see you just looked into her future as well.  SHE will be the one sitting there crying  in a few years over what he will be doing to her .  Its petty but  take a bit of smug satisfaction  in that. 

  You deserve so much better in life. We all do.  And she did you a favor but taking that  selfish dick bag off your hands.

 You got your  children to think of now and you also need to think about your self as well. Not how much you hurt but  think of all the good you bring to your sons lives and all the things you have to look forward to in the future.  Take the chance to start fresh and re-invent yourself and  this all will be your past someday but it is still her future.

 Good luck to you!! Take care!

im sorry. but you must think of yourself now.  They are both cheaters and the relationship will not last because it will lack trust.  My husband cheated on me with a coworker. He never admitted it always denied everything.  Once I found out he never stopped.  We lost everything.  When I threw him out he didnt end up with the Slut but was so afraid I would find someone that he wormed his way back in.  Now I think he is back to his old tricks and I am in the same boat I was a few years ago (stay or go)  Im a stronger person now because I never gave him 100% when we got back together he changed me. Of course he is denying it again but I gave him an out.  A way to prove to me that he is not involved with her again.  which was my only requirement when we moved back in together.  He could have all the "friends" he wanted but the home wrecking slut could not be one of them.  He got a different job which helped but the trust was never there.  So when I suspected something again, I told him I need to see copies of he cell phone bills.  This would prove to me that he has not had any contact with the slut.  He refused.  I stopped speaking to him and told him that I will be leaving as soon as I find a place.  He knows I am serious and is trying to fix things by any means.  However, I told him the only way is to produce the bills.  I haven't seen them yet. so I will be leaving.  He says he loves me so much too bad for him because I dont believe him.  They are just words.  If he loved me he would want me to trust him and do what I asked of him.  Its not much to ask for the sake our marriage.  He really has something to hide and showing the bill will prove him a liar and a cheat so hes trying to protect himself but losing me at the same time.

i am so sorry. I know i would not be able to handle that. I can not handle the fact that i just found out hubby has girlfriend he slept with twice. and we were trying to work things out during this time. I can not tell you to be strong because i am falling apart now and do not even want to carry on. People say the pain will go away...but how? it runs so deep intside my blood

Angie don't let me offend you because I am in the same boat as you are. My wife left me for another man. She had a baby by him. When she calls me concerning our three yr old she always makes a comment about them. My oldest son was left behind as to the fact he hates them all for leaving and splitting him up from his brother. I have dealt with anger for twenty months, and I came to realize THank God the bit** is gone. I don't have to worry about being lied to anymore, I can live my life as I should not in fear of a two timing spoiled rotten child who cries and moans and groans when they don't get their way. Let this man have my wife. I hope they have sex 2 times a night and wear each other out so bad they miss work 3 days a week.  Big deal there are good men out here and good men want good women and you portray yourself as that. So drop the SOB and let him go. Hell, I'd buy her a case of beer for the doing you a favor. :) Once the slut is cheating on him he will be all crying  and wanting to come back don't let the ***hole back in your life. THis is your life not somebody else to mess with. Live your life to the fullest and enjoy happiness and you will find someone soon.  SO Stay strong and you will get thruogh this and the light at the end of the tunnel is so pleasant you will wonder why'd you ever want the piece of **it  anyway. :) Good luck and take care of yourself

I wouldn't give much for thier relationship right now. It was founded in decipt and deception and that isn't a good foundation.

As far as advice for you,, I'd quit reading the facebook. This sort of thing can only bring you pain. Just resist the temptationa and don't do it.

when she looks into his eyes,she will see a man who betrayed his family.When he looks into hers he will see a whore . they can never trust eachother ,it will distroy them in time ,it always does

You will recover more quickly that you have imagined - and will become a better, stronger woman and mother for it.  Do things that make you proud of yourself.. ..and you will find a more interesting, funny, knowledgeable and well-rounded person come out of this mess.  I can guarantee that your STBX's life is not as glamourous as he would like others to believe. ...he's very twisted up right now, and is just looking for comfort and support, as he's unable to process this stuff on this own.  The funny thing is, one day he will wake up and also realize that the OW was NOT what he was looking for.  Statistically his changes of success in this new marriage so quickly after your divorce are not good. 
Work on you, Angie -- and don't look back.  This is your time to start a new, more exciting life.  Build on your experiences from your marriage - and create a new life for you and your kids that you will be proud of a year from now...!!!

Angie, I've not been on this site in some time, but saw your blog and felt like commenting. Although you are hurting now, understandably, this was all part of a bigger plan that you can't see at the moment. I think most of us can sympathize what you're going through, but I can tell you - from a man's perspective - that your STBX is really lost right now. Generally speaking, I believe that men are the weaker sex, and truly think that -- all things being equal -- women recover from "emotional trauma" much quicker than men. That's why so many men try to find girlfriends or are so quick to get into a new marriage. What doesn't seem possible or logical at the time is only a testament that guys will usually run to another woman for comfort. It's perfectly acceptable for women to develop a strong social bond with other women. They can talk about anything and everything - and can share their emotions with other women. It's rare that men talk with other men on this stuff. We think that we need to deal with this on our own. Some can, some can't. He's off developing a whole new life - and some day will wake up and realize that this OW is really not what he wanted. He jumped to her - and in a short span of 7 months (and he's not even divorced from you yet) he's already planning another wedding. My advice for you - work on being the best woman, best mother that you can be. Start taking up hobbies and other things that you've always wanted to do.

I feel so bad for what you are going through. my ex stole my weddind and engagement rings from my house and actually had an engagement party the day our divorce was finalized and gave her MY RING. so I do know how you feel. but everyone is right stop the snooping. it only causes more pain and you dont need any more than you have already. I have no contact with my ex or anyone around him. its just better for me not to  know. I think you shold a least try to stay out of his life as much as possible at least until you are feeling stronger and you will.

I feel your pain 100x over.  My ex left me 2.5 months ago and admitted the OW to me by telling me he was going to marry her when our divorce is final.  Just this weekend he had our 2 and a half year old sleep in bed with the two of them.  men like this are incapable of human emotion and honestly I don't think they are in any way aware of the pain they are causing because they can't feel pain.  Karma is true but it's not something to wait for.  Get strong for you and your children for you and for them.  Revenge can be sweet but it will take over you if you hole on.  I have decided to get revenge that will better me and that its to move forward and be the best person i can be and a even better mother.  Men like that also feel like you will be lost without them.  Won't it be great to show him that you not only don't want him you don't need him.  I have been an at home home for my sons whole life and my X seeing me get on my feet drives him crazy.  Reaching out on this site proves that you want better and you can have it.  My X won't give money for our son he's broke but he just left for Vegas with the OW today.  It hurts but guess what Im home with my kids and theres no where else I would rather be.  Look at what you have not what you don't have and hold on to that.  You can do this day by day, hour by hour.

All of you have really given me some good insight.  My head knows what to do and what to think.....my heart is the traitor right now.  For 7 months I have told myself that I don't love him anymore...how could I when He hurt me sooo much.  But the cold hard truth is that I do still love him.   It was extremely hard for me to admit that.  I would not take him back, but God help me, I still love him.

Well I guess all of us are here at some point.  My ex is engaged to the "OW" still.  I actually don't care anymore. I admit that it was strange when I found out, but in all honesty, it keeps his focus on something else, which is better for me.  I have no feelings for the man.  I still think back and feel a bit of rage now and then at how things ended, (though I always knew they would), but for my kids, I keep it all smiles and healthy responses.  Sometimes it's hard, but so worth it for them. 

 

Try and remember you are better off on your own than in an unhealthy relationship, and let go of hating them.  You'll have a better life because of this, believe me.  You'll find someone you can love without abandon.  Just give yourself time to heal, and have as little contact with them as possible.  Take care of yourself

I can totally understand where you are coming from here.  It is like "losing" them all over again, isn't it.  I have been feeling bummed out myself over my ex's potential marriage soon.  It's like adding salt to the wound.  I'm very sorry for your pain......keep writing about it.  I wish I had more to say to ease the pain......just know that there are other's out here that know what you are going through and that you are not alone.

My stbxh left me almost a year ago and I know that once we are divorced he will jump right into a marriage with his new gf and her chidren.
I do know that I am a stronger woman today then I was then and you will be amazed at how strong you will become.
You will get to the point where you really wont care what they are doing and where they are going and all of that.
You are doing what you need to do heal and learn who you are. At least you will know like I do now that when you jump into a relationship while you are still ending one will not work out. All it is is a rebound and like myself when the time comes and you are ready to be in a relationship you will be 100% ready for it and you can smile because while you are beginning a new experience he will be getting a divorce again.
Karma is a good thing.
Stay strong and you will be so much better in the end then what he will be.

The woman is clueless and disrespectful by having that info on her facebook page.  Then again, she has been from the beginning when she and your ex perpetrated the breakdown of your marriage.  Try to work your way through the fact that they will never do what is right by you.  I know that's tough and unfair, but they're not worth anymore of your time and emotion.  

That said, for your own good in the long run, any information that you share with your children regarding anything the ex and his sidekick do that hurts you, is influencing them and places them in between you and the ex.  Even if he's being a dirtbag to them now.  Your sons sound very mature and intelligent and will be able to see whats what in your situation, but you run the risk of alienating them from you and complicating or delaying any healing they experience with their father. 

Ignore anything the ex and her do together, you're better off and everyday you will feel stronger and eventually, you won't care what they do.  Hang in there.

 

Angie
Take satisfaction in knowing a man like that never changes . Think KARMA Not revenge  or killing!  Does  his new  little fling really think this man is going to stay honest and faithful to her? What  makes her so special ? NOTHING ! He will cheat on her  step out on her  and leave her  one day  as he did you!  He failed himself as much as you when he stepped into another relationship while being married! People Like him never ever change without  counseling!  Yes this  Lady ( Slat) was  wrong for  messing with a married man, I can bet he lied to her suckerd her  and she fell for it hook line and sinker. Being angry  only gives him power and strength he does not deserve! Ending your life  will not make  a man like that feel guilty. Ending their life  will  only  place you  on  jail. Escape the  prison of anger and hurt  you allowed him to put you in. Move on and  tell yourself he did you a a favor for you deserve someone so  much better then him. See one day she will know what it feels like  to be in your shoes  rite  now.
The day will come he will get bored with her  find something  he no longer  loves., lust or likes about her and he will step out on her.  It may not happen as fast as you would like  but it will Happen, !  Get him were it really hurts fancily if you can. a manlike him  feels no emotion what so ever  no less is capable Of Loving someone other then himself.. Karma has a way of balancing  everything out. DO NOT LET HIM DESTROY  what is left of  as a person.

Just since the short time I have been on this site... I do not think Angie is trying to turn her boys against their dad... he definitely is the one who did that long ago....

I do agree with the others though... you have to stop looking at that site. It is going to kill you to "keep track" of their daily activities.  Wasn't it easier to go on when you didn't know what they were doing?  Every time they make a plan to do something that you never did with him, you'll be pissed, and it's not worth it.

Think of it this way... we both have kids in college.  Do you REALLY want to know every little thing your son does there??? lol!  I don't want to know everything my daughter does!  It would probably put me in an early grave! 

Thinking of you....

Pastfirst,  I've not turned my kids against him.  He did that all on his own.....He has talked to my oldest 1x since he left in July.....No Birthday present or Christmas present.  My youngest talked to him 2 months ago.....not even a call for Christmas.  They are both teenagers and can think for themselves.  What happened yesterday was merely icing on the cake for them.  Also, this is the woman he carried on an affair with during our marriage, then moved in with her........he moved on before we were even finished.

I really sympathise and understand your anger and upset.
For now, try not to turn your son's against him.
He's living his life and you should get on with yours.
It's one of the hardest things when our ex finds someone else (even when we don't want him). It's like a slap in the face!
He is no longer part of your life. Whatever he does, is now his business. Life gives out lots of blows, but we have to get up and get on.

Aww Angielou, I feel your pain, I really do, but please stop setting yourself up for more! Delete the facebook from your computer, you don't need this temptation! I promis that one day you will no longer care what he is doing, or that he will get his! Concentrate on making you better, do something you like to do, fill your time as much as possible with good things! Take care, and I wish you the best! Now delete it! ; )

Oh, the pain of it all!! I am sorry that this is happening to you. Aren't you glad that you found out?  I know I like being in the know. Hold tight to your faith and the good things in life that make you happy.

I know how hard that is.My husband filed for divorce from me and he is still cheating with her.I also made the mistake of snooping on his MySpace page and got an eyeful.The worst part is my two daughters have been calling the slut and she is trying to be best buds with them.I know your stbx husband will get his.I feel for you and send hugs....

I'm sorry you are going thru this girl I really am!!  I know sometimes it's better the less that we know becuz the more we find out the more we get hurt!!  I find myself heading in that direction too.  The more info I find out about my ex and his gf the worse I get and I sink into a depression for days and the less I know the better off I am.  Becuz like your son said - you can't control what he does and who he does it with anymore.  Only he can do that.  And ya know what - it won't last.  Look at his history with marriages here...he obviously doesn't know how to keep it in his pants and how to keep a marriage together.  He just keeps dragging his luggage with him to every relationship instead of working on fixing what's wrong with himself.  So that's why I say it won't last.  You are a hell of alot better person than she is in the first place, and I know this hurts like hell.  Becuz you feel hurt and betrayed all over again, but this too shall pass.  You will get thru this and be a stronger person for it too!!  He's not worth your tears or your headaches or even thinking about him.  Reminds me of Mary J Blige's song - "Not Gonna Cry"!! Listen to that one - it's a good one to listen too!! :)  Listen girl, you will get thru this and come out a better person in the end.  They aren't worth you getting upset over or the energy it takes to be upset about them either.  You need to spend your energy elsewhere!!  Yeah they may look happy on the outside--but what about on the inside?!! I have come to the reality that my ex will probably marry the slut sometime in the near future--becuz he told the boys they need to get used to her becuz he's gonna marry her someday--yeah whatever!!  I say let the next bitch make him happy cuz I'm done trying!!! :)  Keep your chin up and stay strong girl!!