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Changing Locks on House

My husband has left our home and is living somewhere else.  I have an appointment with an attorney but it is over a week away.  I am going out of town and he wants to come in the home while I'm gone to get "some things".  Can I legally have the locks changed since I am the one living here and only let him in while I'm here.  I have no problem with him getting stuff from our home but would like to be present when he is doing it.        

by impink   3 Posts
Posted on 1/14/2009 3:40 PM

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Comments for "divorce360.com | Changing Locks on House"  (11) (You must be logged in to answer)

My story about the locks. I called my county sheriff and asked if they would support my ex in his demanding entry. They said no. 
He disappeared one day. Left a note. Took a few things. I had no idea where he was. I felt way too vulnerable to know if I would come home to an empty house - have him drop by...my security. So I changed the locks. Which by they way your local hardware store will do for free.
He had to go through his lawyer to get a time and date to enter the house again. By then it gave me space and time to secure the things I wanted and put his things in one spot for him to claim.
by Carryon   1 Post
Posted on 7/8/2012 11:17 AM

My STBX left everything he owned in the house. At the time that we  separated he was living in another city due to his job, visited every weekend.  Our life blew up on a Tuesday and he didn't come home on weekends after that.  About a month later, he came to get his things.  EVERYTHING  he owned had been moved to the garage. It amused me to see how he thought he would walk into our room and that his things would still be in our closet.  He took some clothing from the garage, told my son he could help himself to anything he wanted.  After he left, the rest of his things went to the Goodwill,, several months later, he thought he would come by and get the rest of his things,, imagine his face when he was told it was all gone.  As far as I was concerned, once he was gone, that was it, locks were changed, and he was no longer welcome in my home.  Whether it was the legal thing or not never became an issue. 
by Daniela5   136 Posts
Posted on 5/21/2010 10:15 PM

I went through this and was very very stupid to believe that he would only take what he said he would.  Came home to alot of missing furniture.  If you can't be there, please have someone you trust be there to witness what is taken.  Now it seems I can't get the items back and he is basically saying that he isn't admitting to taking the other items.
by michelle919   32 Posts
Posted on 8/4/2009 1:30 PM

Actually I have found out in N.C. that it is legal to have the locks changed and deny him access as long as there was a verbal or written conversation that he was leaving.  There wasn't a written document document but he verbally said he would be living somewhere else.  Thank goodness.  Now - hopefully I can go on my trip in peace.
by impink   3 Posts
Posted on 1/16/2009 12:57 PM

I kept the house. My ex would not return the keys to me. She even offered to give me keys to her apartment to make it 'fair'. I had to insist for months that she turn over all the keys. She would copy them and then give me the old keys and keep a copy. I kept catching her opening the door to come in and 'get things for the kids'. I had to pay my lawyer to write her lawyer a letter to make her understand that if this kept happening I would be forced to have the police arrest her.

She finally turned over all the keys, and has stopped entering my house. I bet she still keeps a key 'for emergencies' - but I have no way to prove it. I would change the locks - but I want my kids to have keys. I know that if I changed the locks she would probably just copy the new keys off of one of my kids.

At least she doesn't enter my house any more.
by peace99   145 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 11:58 AM

My STBX seems to think she has control over the house.  Ummm, I only allow her that, because I don't have much there that is mine, and I really don't care to visit her anymore, I just want my kids.  But, my lawyer told me because my name is on the mortgage, I can come and go as I please, but he's one of these lawyers who is like, "Why provoke a fight?"  Basically, do I have to or want to be there?  No.  Looking at her makes me depressed and angry.  I'd rather stay away.

I never, ever want to know about her personal life.
by Animator   1020 Posts
Posted on 1/14/2009 5:00 PM

No, that isn't abandonement - you can only claim abandonment of anything after a period of one year of no contact, use or otherwise.
by spaznskitz   11339 Posts
Posted on 1/14/2009 4:43 PM

if that person leaves the home of their own free will isnt that considered abandonment of the home?  When my ex left I asked for the key but did let him in anytime he wanted to get his things.  I never tried to stop that because I didnt want a sheriff at my door.
by kickedtocurb   67 Posts
Posted on 1/14/2009 4:41 PM

busteach - yeah kinda - but if your soon to be ex spouse is actually understanding of the definition of boundaries and is ok with it - you don't have anything to worry about. It's the ones that will make a stink about "their property and their stuff" & "he/she is denying me access" that you have to worry about.
by spaznskitz   11339 Posts
Posted on 1/14/2009 4:27 PM

I have a question. I changed the codes on the garage doors and he voluntarily turned over the keys.  I don't want my ex in my home when I am not there either.  I too do not have a problem with him getting item that we both agree he can take but I would like to be present and be able to document what was taken.  Am I breaking the law by having changed the codes?
by busteach   53 Posts
Posted on 1/14/2009 4:23 PM

No - it is still the marital residence and he has every right to come and go as he pleases until a judge deems otherwise.


If you are concerned about what he is going to take, or do - then if I were you I'd postpone the trip until you have your legal ducks in a row.

by spaznskitz   11339 Posts
Posted on 1/14/2009 3:53 PM

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