No one replied on What do i do now so I'll use this one

Ok...I invite you to e-mail me.  I can't speak for God, but if you're Christian, I have a bit of education in His Word...

First, I will tell you that that is not how he treats his children.  He is not punitive.  He is not the sort of Father who hands his children a stone when they ask for a banquet.  He delights in his children.  The problem is that this is a broken and fallen world.  Don't interpret crappy events as him punishing you.  He is the God of grace, and every good and perfect gift comes from him.

Second, who the hell told you this would happen, and what is this?!?!?  If the person is a pastor or laity, I'd suggest you run fast and far...they are not speaking the Word of God to you.

I have my own understanding of divorce that I would be happy to share, but first things first--you're getting a picture of a God who is very different than the one who became incarnate flesh in order to take the sins of mankind upon himself...

Was his willingness to divorce due to his expectation of being paroled and out of jail and then his sudden change of heart due to his parole being denied?   I am having a hard time following the backstory.  

 

But as far are your concern with defying God by divorcing,  that is a hard one that would be difficult to answer.  I have never heard a solid Christian argument in favor of divorce except for adultery and even then its rough.    Seek counsel with your pastor or priest and pray on it.       You clearly have taken your vows seriously and have stayed faithful to your husband so I would hope your church can support whatever your decision.

You married him while he was in jail?

Still new at this....

He finally apologized... 4 months later I got a letter from him saying he was not himself and had a breakdown for the first time in his life... Oh yea did I mention I sent him divorce papers the first week of January... He then stated he was not going to sign the divorce papers because this was just a situtational problem and he still loves his wife and children.

Well..... you see I have a problem with that because ... the parole board turned him down the first week of January and the court denied his appeal the day before he sent me this letter and he did not address anything that he said to me... he just apologized for hurting me... So I wrote him back and thanked him for his apology, then told him that it was not sufficient... that I have no desire to communicate with him and have moved on as requested and will file the contested divorce...... My problem is that I feel like I am defying God by divorcing him.... I was told this was going to happen and every since I sent him those papers things has been .... as if God is warning me. I am God fearing....

First of all, you have been faithful to him and you have stuck by his side while he is in jail and this is how he repays you? I know that you want to know who he's cheating on you with, but honestly would that make you feel any better? My ex cheated on me so I divorced him, then went back to him to try to work things out and he cheated again. I just couldn't trust him and to be honest, he was the love of my life, but really, it takes two to make it work.  I wish you the best. Take care.

You say you have an idea with whohe is cheating?  If possible and you feel it's worth the effort, check it out.  You have put forth so much effort in this relationship.  No one can tell you what to do, but I don't know how much more effort you have to give before it really begins to affect you and the kids if there are any.  Love shouldn't be so hard.

First thought was maybe he is doing that whole "GO Home Lassie! I hate you, Lassie!" thing that Timmy did to get Lassie to leave him for his "own good"....

But then you said he is messing around with someone and you have an idea with who...didn't you just say he was in jail?

Is he cheating on you while in jail?

Thank you, I have so many thoughts of why, but no I do not know why.

That is terrible! What are you thinking about doing next? I say move on!!!!

i'm sorry this is happening to you.  any idea why all of sudden things changed?