found out he doesnt want kids and maybe a future too

We have been married for 9 years.  We've known each other for 15years.  It was a rocky start with my family not approving but i fought them and well, we got married.  The first few years was heaven.  He later became controlling and i figured that as part of a married couple i needed to be more understanding.  well, he pushed me into pursuing a career in real estate in our home town.  we lived 3 hours away in another state.  We decided to have kids after our second year and eventually started infertility treatments.  it lead no where.  i became obsessed and depressed.  So i focused on the real estate and he took it as I left him and our marriage.  The cold war began and was like that for many years.  We dont talk and when I do try to talk he gives me attitude and is mean to me to the point of emotional abuse. I found out he cheated on me twice that I know of.  He doesnt even know that I know.  But i looked the other way. The last 2 years I have been trying to make things better because I want a family and still love him.  He took job in chicago and i moved down here in april.  i told him i want to have kids and a marriage.  he said he wants to think about it and when i asked a second time he said later.  Mind you this is after I told the latest girl online that i was his wife of 9 years.  She has backed off and he is lonely and pissed.  His sister recently asked him what his intentions are and he said he didnt plan to have kids with me and his reason was because of the past.  He cant let it go.  I dont know to leave or not because i dont know if he wants the marriage.  He continues to initiate sex in bed and will talk to me when he has to and will answer me if i ask him stuff.  He does this in a nice tone and no attitude.  So do i give him time in hopes that he will change his mind or do i cut my loses and be the one to file?  i am not brave or strong and that is why i am still hoping he will change.  am i stupid?