She' moving out, but is she moving on?

In a nutshell 30 something, married 4 years and together for 5. Both second marriages. She has a boy 10, and I have a girl 9. They get along very well with little to no fights. In the start, I resented her son and the relationship he and I had was strained like string peas. Her relationship with my daughter was so-so at best. Wife and I tried to have a child together but couldn't. Medically no problems found. At this point I focused on fixing the relationship with her son and myself, which over the course of the last six months worked out great! Although, I seemed to neglect other issues. One was the fact my wife and daughter now do not like each other. Both have said this to me. They don't talk or argue though. They ignore each other. Another is the fact I didn't focus on my wife’s pain of NOT being able to conceive. We are Catholics (re-entered the faith together but don't really do much more then Sunday Church) and she is under the impression we are not meant to be since God isn't gifting us with a new born of our own. Third is that we both gained weight. This caused me to start snoring and so we moved to separate bedrooms. I have lost over 15 pounds and the snoring stopped. Although the damage was done and sleeping in the same bed is now "weird." Over the course of the last month or so, she said she wanted space which of course created a crisis and now she is moving out next weekend and has brought home divorce papers, BUT, to be honest, I went to an attorney first but only as a consultation. She has not filled out the paperwork to date. During this time, I started to talk to an ex-girl-with-benefits-friend which wasn't a smart move. You can say I emotionally cheated, although I didn't feel like that. When the ex-gf called me drunk six times in a row and started to say things like "I love you" I cut it off. I did come clean with this to my wife. I talked to the ex-gf maybe 4 times on the phone and a dozen or so on myspace over the course of the last six months. I have since stop communicating with her. I have found out she gave her number to an old friend who is the brother of her mothers ex-husband before I told her about my communication with my ex. While she didn't have relations with his friend, I still think it was weird. She is now in constant contact with old high school girl-friends which makes me feel weird. Almost like she's reverting back to a teenager. Although I don't think she is cheating on me as I did have access to phone records and stuff and it seemed pretty clean. I have snooped in the past, but it only leads to being hurt or controlling so I've stopped that. 

I'm will say that I pushed her alot during this time. She has said that I started this ball rolling. At the start she was just unhappy she said and wasn't sure if it was me or her. She also told me she was going to wait a few months to move out but since I told her that I couldn't give her space living int he same house, she sped her plans up. Even this week I guess I pushed her out faster but asking if she found a place to live yet and when it was happening (I was mad) .. My hope is that a separation  can prove we are meant to be together (re-discover each other and the love we had by NOT being around each other) and I'm throwing my Faith in God. My ex says she doesn't think it will work out and she doesn't think we are meant to be. Although there are some signs that point differently and some that don't. She entered a Month to Month lease and said it was because she didn't want to be stuck in a year contract like she was before. When moved in together we paid on two apartments for about 4 months. She also hasn't filled out the divorce paper work yet but had it for over a month or so. She did start to fill it out and I freaked out and she started to laugh at me, but in a way that wasn't rude. I am acting pretty goofy right now, breaking all the rules of the "Divorce busting" websites. She is, more or less, very angry and acting on emotional stress right now with what I see as little to no logical though process. But that in and of itself is a selfish thing to say.  She said she is give me her set of keys to the house since it “isn’t going to be her house any more” but did say that she will come over to see our dog.  During on of our fights I used the passive-aggressive statement, “You know I can’t be alone. I’ll probably move on pretty quickly.” Which I regret so much now. She brings this up each time we talk about “US.” Tonight I told I was just mad and that my heart belongs to her and only her and I’m going to take a leap of Faith since I know some how we will make it in the end. She also brings up the ex-gf a lot. I couldn’t get a read on her since she was laying on her futon watching TV. She seemed to almost be catatonic when I said that to her. 

I admitted to her and to you, the reader, I am emotionally stupid. I need to be told things point blank 90% of the time. This week she then brought up all sorts of times when I “Didn’t have her back” but she had mine. So this came full blown explosion to her relationship with my daughter and how it’s pretty much unfixable. Her family really has been talking bad about me to her. I know this because I went to her families house to talk to them. My reasoning is that I would prove to my wife that I am strong enough to “take my medicine” and they let me have it. I held my cool though, even when they started to get nasty. For this I am proud. I have not told my family the things they said, and only that my wife and I are separating. I don’t want to start and all out war, but my wife expects me to do this. Normally I would tell my parents what was said, but that was “the old me” my NOT telling them I feel I am changing for the better. Right? I hope so!

At this point, I don't know what to do. I am in crisis and have cut off my nose to spite my face (aka: said stupid things and acted selfish) I guess I'm writing this because it's painful. I want an instant fix, a clear cut ending of happiness, but it isn't there. All that I see is the unknown mist of a downward spiral.  Anyway, thanks for this. I guess if you made it this far down with out skipping too many run-on sentences it would be nice to hear what you think.