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Grounds for Divorce?

My husband and I have been married for 13 years and have two young children.  We make a great team in times of trouble.  We get along in almost every other aspect of marriage but... in those 13 years, I've become repulsed by his touch.  How we managed to have 2 children amazes me.  Even now at my sexual peak, I don't want to sleep with him. Yet, I seem to always fall back into bed with him again as masterbation doesn't provide the closeness of actual love making that I need.  And everytime, after the fact, I get that "skin crawling" feeling.  Is there any way to get around this?  I feel like I'm living with a housemate, not a lover.  Can this be fixed or is divorce the answer? I love my husband, but doesn't he deserve to be with someone who actually WANTS to have sex with him?  Don't I deserve to be with someone whose touch doesn't make my skin crawl?
by DawnComes   1 Post
Posted on 7/15/2008 10:40 AM
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Comments for "divorce360.com | Grounds for Divorce?"  (4) (You must be logged in to answer)
If you are playing a negative tape in your mind about your husband, always thinking about the things he does that you hate, or maybe he's gained weight and that is repulsive or simply the fact that he may not be saying things or doing things that please you, that tape that keeps playing and playing will cause you to repel him.


We are what we think and say.

This happened to me. The only thing that helped was changing the tape. Playing good thoughts and pleasant memories and refusing to go to that negative place.
by DoeRaeMe   31 Posts
Posted on 7/31/2008 5:34 PM
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go talk to your gynecologist - this could actually be a medical condition, and it is aggravated by the mental condition your lack of sex drive has caused...aka vicious cycle...

 

you also may want to couple medical help with marital counseling
by spaznskitz   7745 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 7:33 PM
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Have you ALWAYS been repulsed by his touch?  Was it something that came on gradually?  Does he know how you feel?  I guess my advice is that you might want to see a sex therapist to see if it's something you can work through.  If not, then you owe it to him and to yourself to be honest with him and tell him how you feel.  I wish you luck.
by BlueB   2982 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 11:30 AM
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You need to try to find out why you feel the way that you do. In all honesty, you  have everything but that.
Express how you feel to your husband. There has to be a reason why. I was there with my first husband and know what you are talking about. I felt as though all I was there for was to meet his needs and be his slave woman.
Try some counseling before you end things. Believe me and others in here.it is not an easy road to go. If you can work things out and both parties are putting forth the effort then it will be worth it in the long run.
Keep us posted. We are here for you and will listen!
by mtnvly   3539 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 11:25 AM
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