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Expired on : 7/10/2008 6:43 AM

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I just don't know...

I have been feeling fine so I thought but, for some reason yesterday I felt sad not sure why I mean I wasn't crying I was just in my own little world.  I don't know what's going on with me.  I for some reason deep down don't want to see my family fall apart don't get me wrong me and husband are talking, laughing, and are together more often than we were before.  So, what's the problem?  I don't know is it that the way I felt for him is long gone. I know I love him but, I m not sure its "In Love with him" anymore How does someone know?  I guess to be honest I am scared maybe of being alone and of course hurting my kids.  My husband has been very different with me I mean his more loving, talks to me more he texts me all the time while we are at work saying how much he loves me, and how much he really wants things to work out.  I honestly I am trying to work it out but, a part of me is upset that "I should of let go" he has hurt me to much I still think of wow he was with this "OW" for 2 yrs (maybe) and all those lonely days I spend by myself with the kids while he was at work with her and of course making excuses on why he had to go to work.. now I know the real reason why? I want to confront the other woman I guess I want to know who she is and of course give her a piece of my mind my husband says "his scared if I see her that I will snap and tell him I'ts over for sure" and that is not what he wants but, of course thats when I get upset and say to myself " What the hell I am I doing caring about his feelings" he obviously didn't care about mine.  I wish I didn't have a soft heart but, I always have.  I just don't want to may a mistake and break up my family and then feel that Oh I do love him I knew we could of worked it out and he was trying.  I don't know I kind of feel a little sad right now not sure why???


by achiever479   74 Posts   read more from user >>
Posted on 7/10/2008 6:43 AM
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Comments for "I just don't know..."  (5) (You must be logged in to answer)
Okay, first you should know that what you're experiencing is totally normal. I've been there and felt the exact same way. I tried to stay for a year after his affair but he wouldn't talk to me about the whole thing, kept telling me to "get off that dead horse." So I did. Anyway, it helped me tremendously to go to counseling, which I'm still doing, but it also took me 4 counselors before I finally found one that I could connect with. Be sure you are comfortable with whoever you choose. Also, confronting the married whore that slept with my husband helped me SO MUCH!!! I pretty much told her everything I felt about her...but that was AFTER I called her husband and told him about their year long affair....and sent him all the emails my husband sent his wife, as well as sent him a picture of her car in front of his house. LMAO!!! I don't care what anyone says....revenge was SWEET!  LOL!

On a more positive note, do you have a pastor or someone you can talk to about this? Heres my opinion on the whole live thing. Love is not a feeling, it's a verb. If it were a feeling God wouldn't have put in the bible to "Love your enemy." I think love is a choice. We choose who we love and how. If you decide to stay with your husband just know that it will take time and healing and closure before you can fully love him again.

If you decide to leave him just know that you will not have instant healing. It will still affect the way you deal with people, whether or not you can trust another man, etc. You will still have good days and bad days. And you will most likely have days or times when you have regrets....I know I do all the time....eventually I'll have enough healing to be able to fully move on I hope. Take care and God Bless!
Lynn
by teachermatti   85 Posts
Posted on 7/21/2008 2:08 AM
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I know exactly how you feel.  My ex did the same thing.  It's very hard to get over cheating.  Not matter how hard your try, it's always there in the back of your mind, reminding you of how you were betrayed.  I wish I had a miracle answer for you, but I don't.  I tried very hart to forgive and forget, but I couldn't.  My life felt like a sham, and my efforts at being "in love" felt fake.  I'm sorry you are going through this too.

Have you thougth about seeing a couselor, just for you?
It might help you work through this and put things in perspective.
by Dorene-Page   164 Posts
Posted on 7/12/2008 3:23 AM
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I'm thinking - TWO YEARS.  Are ya kiddin?  You have every reason to feel how you feel, and quite frankly if he really wants it to work you would have every reason to make him lick your feet every night for the next however many years it took to make you forgive him.  Your problem is you think you have to go back to acting like nothing happened just because you made the decision to give it a try, NO YOU DON'T.  Things are not like they were.  And they are not like they were because HE made a huge error in judgement.  The ball is in your court, if you feel you need to be a bitch today to make you feel better than by all means, have a day.  If you need to cry, cry and make him watch, make him watch you cry for the heartless, selfish crap HE did.  And if after making him walk on eggshells and jump through hoops you decide you might puke if you have to look at him one more minute, then pack his crap and tell him to go call Bambi 'cause you just can't forgive him.  This is not about him anymore, it was all about him while he was out skirtin' around and lying to you, now it's about you and whether or not you can forgive what he did.  He has no say in this. Take your time, go out with friends, do whatever you have to do to figure out what you are capable of.  You may not be able to let it go.  If not, then you need to let him go.  Counceling is a fantastic idea.  Go for yourself first though, and if need be later on invite him to join.
by mamasgirl   21 Posts
Posted on 7/12/2008 1:54 AM
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have you guys been to counseling?
by gomundo2   69 Posts
Posted on 7/10/2008 9:47 AM
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I think your feelings are completely natural, hang in there and good luck to you.
by gomundo2   69 Posts
Posted on 7/10/2008 9:46 AM
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