sign in | join
I usually don't do this but i don't know what else to do. Well my husband and I met when I was in high school and he was in college I thought he was the world a great looking guy that everyone admired in my home town. I thought I was the luckiest girl, everything went well when we were going out. I was a going into my senior year when i found out I was pregnant. Of course i was the oldest in my family and my parents were very upset, they had high hopes for me. I was not a bad girl at all, I went to one high school party with my husband and I always had good grades. Well after my daughter was born my husband and I got married that was the right thing to do. I remember when we were going to get married i had second thoughts but I thought it's just cold feet. Well everything went south after marriage. My husband dosen't like my family at all. I can't talk or visit my family. I grew up very close to my family since i was the oldest, all my sisters came to me for advice and i loved to help them. Well my husband did not like that at all. When my family has a get together i always have to have an excuse for me not to be there. I hate to say bad things about my husband because he gave my kids and they are wonderful. i am just afraid that if i divorce him he will keep the kids and i will never see them again. He always threatens me about it. We tried to talk about it and tried to change our ways. I talk to my parents less i don't see them as much as i want to but he dosen't change. i always tell him that am going to leave him if he dosen't change but i don't. I just need help i don't know what to do.
Next time he threatens you that he is going to take the kids from you tell him the attorney you consulted assured you that it is impossible and you have realized it is just a tactic to hurt you - and that only a crappy father would even consider using his kids as weapons if a marriage falls apart. So from now on, that threat will fall on deaf ears...(btw - I'm the attorney you consulted) then I want you to get your kids together and go visit your family - this whole business of "not allowed" - um, hun, you are an adult, and quite frankly the only people who can tell you NOT to do something is, well - nobody but yourself. No one has the right to take you from the people you love. Let me clue you into something - want to know why he trhreatens you, tries to control you? Because he is extremely insecure and is actually petrified of losing you and his kids. He thinks by intimidating you, you will never leave him. He is breaking you down to think that you aren't worth much and you need him to be complete....
you don't.You have two choices - marriage counseling - because the two of you aren't mature enough to know how to affect change in yourselves to fix your problems - you need professional help to learn how to communicate with each other. He needs to learn that love doesn't have to be demanded - and you need to grow a spine to be able to tell him when he is wrong and how you deserve to be treated. Or - the big D - where you both move on and he is abusive and controlling to someone new, and you find a man who is worthy of your love. Don't stay in a hutful marriage because you have kids with him. It is better to be FROM a broken home than IN one...and by staying with somone who is abusive, all you are teaching your kids is that this is what love and relationships are like..and the two of you need to be better role models for your children.