My wife left a message this morning that she has the papers & will call tonight to go over them!

I am shattered. I've been so sad and depressed for the past month, but until we had the divorce papers, I still held a shred of hope.
Now it appears there is no reason to even hold on to that anymore. I can't think of anything else to say to her about how I have changed and am changing. About how much I love her and do not want this to end. I'm at work now and I feel like I want to go to sleep and avoid everything. I;m not suicidal, but I can rally understand how some people could be driven to that extreme. I know someday it will get better, but right now I can't possibly imagine that day.
And it's just going to be worse tonight when and after she calls.
I hope I can find the strength to deal with this!
Wish me luck!