child custody and phone calls

Unfortunantly I am going thru this myself. But I- am not the one getting to speek to my girls. My 15 yr old has a cell- but that doesn't mean I get to speak to her any time I want, she doesn't want to talk to me because of all the bad things he has drilled in their heads. My 11 yr old I only get to hear from once a month or month in a 1/2. Her sister doesn't want her to use her cell phone-eww!- and her dad wont let her use the house phone because it costs him to much $- But when they are w me for visitation (out of state) he calls them everyday and some times twice. Tell me what the difference is other than game playing and a control game. Just remember that your child will grow up knowing which parent was the bigger person. It does come back to bite.
I have been trying to get this issue taken care of for 2 yrs now. And it takes time.

Unfortunately- you need to quit ignoring the calls.  My soon to be ex ignores my calls a lot of the time and it's very annoying.  There are important issues to hammer out- such as school, clothing, financial concerns (I'm in school and getting aid).  You may have to set down some rules about how you communicate, but you can't ignore him forever.  Yes, you are hurt.  Yes, you are angry.  Yes, you are bitter.  BUT- you need to be the bigger parent here.  Ignoring his calls only tells your child- "If I don't like it, I'll bury my head in the sand."  Is that the lesson you want him to learn?

legally he has the right to speak to the child once a day at a reasonable time - if oyu do not allow the phone contact, you will be in contempt of court.

 

remember something - any alienation on your part gives him ammunition to go for custody.

Get caller Id, you see him calling - you have the child answer it and tell the child to hang up after the call is done. If he asks to speak to you, you tell the child to say you are busy.


I'm a family law attorney

The kids have a right to speak to either parent, you certainly don't have to talk to him but at some point the two of you should learn some civility for the sake of the kids. I've been going through this ever since my ex remarried to include having her monitor my phone calls and it's really kind of sick. Just because you divorce doesn't mean you stop being parents though some would appear to have it be so.

yes - its annoying but IMO something you should try and do...

I agree with angiemiller, it is not worth the hassle of him taking you to court for not letting him speak to his child on the phone.   Your child needs his dad in his life but the ex needs to respect the child's schedule and only call when it is appropriate.

I have to let my awful soon to be ex-husband call my son even though I just hate it.Although I feel like grabbing the phone(sometimes I do) and have had words with him.
Its not the law,but even though you don't like it the child has the right to speak to their father. He might end up taking you to court if you don't.Just arrange a set time of the day for your husband  talk to your child and hopefully it will get better in time.

Good luck!