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Tomorrow we meet at my attorney's office. He and his attorney are meeting with us. We will not be in the same room, the attorneys will be running between and hopefully we can come to a settlement.Here is the scoop:We were married since 1975. I was just barely 18 and he wasn't quite 20. Yes, I know, we were still babies but we were IN LOVE. We moved into his parents home. His mother had just died several months earlier and his Dad needed help. So I agreed to move in under the feeling that we would only be there temporarily. Well, we had a child into our 4th year of marriage. Money tight, I worked full time and was always exhausted. So we are going to buy this house and fix it up. Trust me it really needed help. Three children later and we are still in this house. I think he has ADD and depression. He would start all of these projects and never and I mean NEVER finish them. We could never have company over due to the conditions of the house. It continued to get worse as the years went by. The more I tried the less he did. He wanted a place up North and I said No that this house had to be fixed.The basement walls are caving in, there were bees in the walls, there are toads and worms in the basement along with water. The bathroom did not have flooring in it.. Just subflooring. There was mold on the intererior of the tub due to him not replacing the fan and exhausting the moisture out. The walls were drywalled and then eventually he mudded it. There was no door on the closet for towels, and no shelves either. The vanity was so ruined. The doors off, drawers that were not stable and fell backwards. That was just the bathroom.He had a temper and was physically abusive to me, along with a host of other abuses he inflicted on me. He had kicked holes in the wall, just always walking on egg shells.So, I will try to be brief: He wanted to retire. I said no, he had no money saved, he was only 47! and he would have to buy retirement time. Well, after several years at 47 he retired. Not before he promises he will fix the house up and then he can have his place up north for hunting. That is a total mess too. Our dump had been paid for, I had used most of my inheritance money for a new furnace, air, heating ducts in the upstairs. (Never had heat up there before), roof, drywall, watersoftener, siding, full window replacement. These were thing that he was capable of doing with help from the kids and myself. He never finished one project. He takes out a $60,000 loan to fix up the house and to buy his retirement time. I refused to sign for the loan, I refused to do any of the leg work. I signed a paper at the Bank stating that I knew he was using the house for collateral.He retired at 47, no job lined up, nothing concrete. He never did the math. His bills were more than he brought in. He began hiding mail, bills, and such. In all our married life, we never had bill collectors calling. He had boxes of unopened mail. If he didn't see it, it didn't exist. This got old after 2 years. In the mean time, he took classes for realestate. That lasted maybe 8 months and then they released him. Wonder why? He only sold one house. I would come home from the work after being on my feet 8 hours as a cook at a high school. I was obese, morbidly obese. He would be sitting there in his dirty underpants and no shirt, no shower and ask what's for dinner before I could even take my purse off my arm.Our daughter got married on July 1, 2006. I left on July6, 2006. He went on a fishing charter expedition and I left. Here is the problem, tomorrow I am concerned that he will say that I owe for half the house. It is actually a dump. He had moved to Wyoming and worked for a year making great money. Paid his bills I surmise, and came home after one year. Our son and family moved into this PALACE. What a mess.He has not paid any support, he has missed several key meetings, one attorney went to court and asked to be dismissed from the case. It was granted. It has cost me big bucks. I can't hold on too much longer.The only things that I asked for was to be the owner of the life insurance policy that I have been paying, he pay for the divorce and half of his retirement. Not the beautiful PALACE he built, nor any thing else.He is not happy with any of it. Do I have reason to be worried? If we cannot agree then ,we will have to go to trial and air our dirty laundry and holes in the walls. The Judge will make the decisions of who gets what. I cannot afford to pay for half of that dump, I need money to keep going. So do I have a good chance of not having to pay for the dump? or losing any of the retirement?Keep me in your prayers tomorrow. Sorry this is so long.
On May 22, we are to have a non-jury trial. The Judge has been sent a paper from my attorney stating the facts on the case. He wrote that he was employed by Wyoming and quit to come home to his family. His son (my son too) has a chronic condition, the condition he told his attorney that was terminal!.
The two issues we cannot come to an agreement is half of his retirement, along with half of my retirement. The other, if any of the parties should receive spousal support. My attorney has asked the Judge to make the decision.
I would like to know, does this look good for me?
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