torn between two men

I had an affair on my husband 2 1/2yrs.ago,moved in with him, had a baby with him-then my husband took me back with this baby into our home again. My husband&I also have1child together and I also have an older child who my husband has helped raise.While back with my husband, I found all these signs of things he was on the computer to indicate that he has some kind of interest in men.  I told him I want a divorce 3 months ago. Now, I have been seeing my baby's father again, but really miss my husband too.  My older son wants me to be with the baby's father-he actually ran away when I went back to my husband. I feel like the right thing to do is work things out with my husband, but I don't want all the chaos again and everybody adores the baby's father.  I feel like I love my husband more, but I definetly like the other man much more. My husband still wants to work on our marriage but will not admit to being at least bi-curious when I have even installed a spyware program on my husband's computer that shown him on gay escort services.  He says he got an email about local escorts and that he didnt think that happened in our area so he wanted to check it out. He was then on the site for almost 4minutes and then 2 days later, he was responding to an email describing his height, weight, good looking, where he lives,and then he never sent it.  The next thing he did was check the computer for spyware installed as if he was doing something he knew he shouldnt get caught doing.He says that I am just making more of it then it is to justify myself getting out of the marriage. So, obviously now this confuses me to think he may be right. But if I was to work on this marriage, how do I just not ever doubt this stuff I found? I do deeply miss alot about my husband-he is very romantic&attentive to me,complimenting me, very deep person-almost like a woman(which makes him actually sound more gay).  I just hate living in-between anymore-like who do I pick? Everyone says be on your own, but I really cant afford to live at my house without help-the babys dad helps me with that. I dont want to keep taking from him and then not eventually be with him-I feel horrible inside doing that. I do really enjoy being with him too-he's the all around nice guy-practically everyone loves me with him-but being that I love them both, I do unfairly compare them. I don't know what to do here-I cant seem to feel motivated with where my life is going-anyone out there experience my situation? I feel so torn between the two.My husband&I's marriage counselor said that my husband may not have all that I want, but he has all that I Need!!! I always say that I wish I could mix the two together-but maybe that's my problem-expecting someone to be perfect.Any input out there?