18 Posts

---

I think it depends.  Is she someone new or did she cause the breakup?  If the latter then I wouldn't let her come.  If she's someone who's new on the scene and its serious with your ex, then you should make time to meet her first before she's involved in any family activities.  These are your kids after all and if it were me, I'd want to make sure that this person was ok.  If she's interacting with my kids, I'd want to meet her first.  Also, has she met the kids?  Do they like her?  If not, their birthday is NOT the appropriate time to do that.  If they have, then ask how they feel about dad bringing her to their party.  My point here is don't hold a grudge against someone who didn't have anything to do with your breakup.  Just cause she's dating your ex, doesn't make her a horrible person (despite your feelings). 

Now, if she's not serious with your ex then no, you don't want a revolving door of women in their life.  Your ex should understand that - its not healthy for the kids. Some questions to consider here are: How long have they been dating?  Why does he want to bring her?  Has his family met her and are they coming to your child's party?  Again, your child's party shouldn't be a place for family drama or the setting to introduce someone to the family.  It's about your child.

Have an honest discussion with your ex - hopefully he'll be reasonable.

view profile

5 Posts

---

Is this someone that your child has some to know and like? If your child does not feel comfortable around this person then I would not allow it. He should have his own party for the child if it makes people uncomfortable.

view profile

65 Posts

---

Maybe the strategy from now on needs to be that celebrations aren't inter-mingled. Kids have two celebrations - one with dad, the other with mom. It doesn't have to be a big party each time - maybe it's just dinner with dad, or a special outing with mom (with presents, of course.) But the forced togetherness shouldn't be required, in my opinion.

view profile

755 Posts

---

Let her come, it should not bother you. Let the new girlfriend know you have moved on since he obviously has. Just concentrate on your child's birthday.

view profile

124 Posts

---

Sometimes it's just better to take the high road. This isn't your birthday party, it is your child's. If you make a big deal out of it, you are just giving your ex power over you. Like it or not, you are not together anymore, and he is going to move on. Set a good example for your kids. Be civil. Remember you are only hurting the kids by making a fuss out of it.

view profile

284 Posts

---

You have to let the other girlfriends and boyfriends and spouses come to kids parties. You just have to do it for the kids. They don't understand.

view profile

11 Posts

---

good for you.she shouldn't be there at least not now

view profile

854 Posts

---

i didn't let her come to the party. and i don't regret it. she's not family or friends. she's just some person who will make everyone else at the party feel uncomfortable.

view profile

7 Posts

---

let her come. you will regret it if you dont. We have to move on, IMO, this is part of the deal

view profile