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My husband I have decided to do a trial seperation. He does not want this, but I feel like I need some space to think. We have been married almost 4 years. I am 40 with two children from a prior marriage (18 & 12), he is 29 with no children. Issues for me to consider: he really wants children, he is jewish and I am not, maturity issues. I think I was the happiest I have ever been in my life during our first year of marriage, but the last three have literally sucked the life out of me. I am a very independent woman and my husband is a very needy person with security issues. No matter what I do or say, it is never enough to make him feel loved. I feel like he is smothering me with his constant need for attention and reassurance. I have become totally uninterested in sex, and I think it is beacause I feel like I can't breath. Being insecure, my husband takes this very personally just making things worse. Also, he has not knowingly said a lot of things over the past few years that have put up a wall between us. The more he says, the thicker my wall gets. Now I just feel nothing. He and my children do not really get along and he has said numerous times that he wishes he had met me before I ever had them. He second guesses every decision I make, always thinks that I am being unfaithful. I had a hysterectomy about a month ago, and two weeks after my surgery he was saying, "Shame on you" for not satisfying his sexual needs. I realize that this is just probably lack of maturity but it really upset me. He is scared that he has lost me forever and probably willing to try and make some changes. Would it be too little too late? I don't know. He loves me deeply but I can't help but think that we might be better off apart. I feel like he needs to find a young jewish (Israeli) girl to marry and build a life with if he ever wants to be really happy. I am not Jewish and I dont want to convert.....tired of being told what I can and can't eat too. I realize that I may never find anyone else that loves me as much as he does, but I feel like we both deserve a chance at happiness. I don't know how to get back to the way things were before. I still love him, but his kiss leaves me cold.
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