I don't know if I would be able to deal with that, b/c not only did he deceive you about the one night stand, but he has been deceiving you for 7 years,( that's when hefound out right?) There is a difference between telling a lie(1 time) and living a lie( years of deceit) But you are not me and if you love him I hope you can work it out. I know I couldn't.

I just found out (that is the only shock he has felt since he thought I would never find out) but he has known for 7 years and has been paying Child Support for that length of time. I found out by finding pictures of a young boy and his Mom and also a football schedule attached (which din't make sense at first) and then an e-mial thanking her for pictures and cards and notifying her that the money he is currently sending her will arrive each month around the 15th. I thought I was going to lose it...which eventually I did. We have 3 children of whom were 12,8 and 6 at the time. He apparently has not seen this child and that to me is hard to take...I definitely do the time to think all things through and the thought of having to pay for another child while in fact I have boys in college with loans on their back just sets me on fire...don't get me wrong I definitely think this child needs to get the support and deserves it. But because of a one night stand we are all suffering.....I thank you both for your comments and concerns

I agree with Bunnee, I am sure he is in shock as well. I feel bad for this child that has never known her or his father. Give it some time. 26 years is a long time to throw away. If you two still love each other seek counseling and be there for this child together. Do not let the 12 year old child think he or she is the reason for your break up, this will make her feel even worse. Keep me posted. I will be thinking of you.

Wow, that would be hard. How did you find out? Did he just find out to? You have a long history together and I'm not sure you want to throw in the towel just yet. It's all new and your still in shock. Maybe it was one night. I know that doesn't make it ok, but you have 26 years as opposed to one night. Do you have children together? Maybe you should take some time and really let things unfold before you do anthing.