My husband of 23 years left me for a woman he met on-line in Canada

I feel your pain.  It is so hard to see what someone you have loved for so long is doing to your self esteem.  Don't let him use you.  Seek counseling for yourself. It may take a while, but you will find out how strong of a person you really are.  Create a new, exciting life for yourself.  There is someone out there that will appreciate you for who you really are.

he is playing you. I know first hand,because my ex did the same thing until I stopped it. Please,do yourself a favor,and tell him to leave you alone. Dont answer his phone calls--period. because if you do,he'll just play mind games with you,and have you believing him again. He doesnt want you for anything but sex! Dont let him treat you like a cheap whore,because your worth a whole lot more than that. Trust me,after awhile it wont hurt so darn bad.

Do you want to be someones 1st choice or 2nd choice? I think you deserve to be a 1st choice.

I'm with Vicki. If sounds like you're already in the divorce process. If so, let him go. I wouldn't be friends with him. Who wants to be friends with a liar and a cheat? Surround yourself with good people who deserve your love and friendship. It's going to hurt shutting him out cold turkey, but he'll rip your heart out if you let him. It's obvious he doesn't care, he's just looking to have his cake and eat it too. Move on. You're much better than that. As for the girlfriend, let it go. If anything you should feel sorry for what she's getting into. Do you think he won't do the same thing to her too? Not very likely.

I think that you should really find out what he wants and if it is you then you guys should try counsling and see if that helps. But if he is saying that he wants you and her at the same time then he is living in a fantasy land because that just isn't possible. My husband mentioned the same thing to me a few nights ago he wanted to live together as a family but wanted both of us to do our own thing if we met someone then we wouldn't rub in each others face and we would not tell our kids nor anyone else we would come home as normal and he insisted that we sleep in the same bed together. I told him there is no chance that would work nor do I want that so it is either we work on this and try to resolve it or it doesn't there is no way I could live with him knowing he is with someone else. So my advise for you would be to find out what he really wants and if he says that he wants to be with her and you then you are better off without him because right now he wants everything his way no matter how you feel.

I feel what you are going through I am in a similar situation but I am the one who started the problem by doing what I did and you can read all about it on here so I will not go into any of that. I have never cheated on my husband but sometimes I think that would have been easier to deal with than what I did do. But with everything that is going on for the last four months I found out a few nights ago that my husband too was having a relationship with a female that he met online and was planning to meet her next weekend on a weekend away together to do something that we did as a couple and enjoyed it. But I found out and he said that the reason he did it was because for the last four months he has needed someone to make him feel wanted loved, and good about himself and that he also needed someone who he could talk to. I can sit here and say that I drove him to do that but he did what he did because he made that choice I did not force him to meet someone on the computer he had plenty of people around here that he could have talked to. And as far as the feeling wanted and loved, and needed I was willing to start doing all of those things for him if he would let me. But in my mind I knew that I hurt him to bad that he probably did not want me to do those things. We are in the process of trying to work this out, and he has called the other person to tell her that he is doing this I will never know if he is still in contact with her I will just have to take his word for it and move past that. I would love to continue to talk with you so if you are interested let me know. Marie

my vote is you deserve better than this. i would leave him and move on. it will be sad...but do you really want to be with someone like this?