Polls

were you blind too?

i re-watched 'under the tuscan sun' this weekend just for this one bit of dialogue.

Frances: Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid.

Martini: No, it's not stupid, Signora Mayes. L'amore e cieco.

Frances: Oh, love is blind. Yeah, we have that saying too.

Martini: Everybody has that saying because it's true everywhere.

by paula1 12663 Posts
Posted on 2/2/2009 3:00 PM

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yes, i didn't see it coming
no, i knew it was coming
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Comments for "divorce360.com | were you blind too?" (21) (You must be logged in to answer)

Hit me like a sledgehammer at the time. In retrospect, I was in denial and should have seen it coming...........she pretty much did everything except rent a billboard out on the expressway.

by jay322 103 Posts
Posted on 9/9/2009 7:05 PM

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He might as well been speaking a foreign language because I couldn't comprehend a single word he was saying! Shock and disbelief are an understatement. I still have a hard time believing it has come to this. WTF happened?????

by BlindFaithNoMore 170 Posts
Posted on 6/17/2009 4:04 PM

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God after 24 years I will never forget that night when he came home at 1 am and packed an overnite bag and left. I was shocked, it was two days after Christmas. I think I cried all night. Right things werent perfect, but I never thought he would leave. I never thought there would be another woman. He is an overweight, smoker, with health problems. Like where could he go... LOL Well he found somewhere. Not sure how long it takes to mend a broken heart. That was Dec 07 and after a year of him coming back and forth with his family like a revolving door, it was me who finally ended it and filed for divorce. I remember when discussing it with my MD she said when it happens suddenly its the same as a death of a spouse.

by macgirl 6 Posts
Posted on 4/15/2009 10:21 PM

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I love that movie and found it to be on my hit list the first three months of my seperation, yes love is blind and it can hurt you, but it didn't kill me even though I thought it was going too..... Was I blindsided, indeed, was a crushed, indeed, was I going to die, I thought so but now my heart is beating and actually could and will love someone else, when that time is right. If I could go back and change things I would, I would have never married him and or rushed things like he did with me, it was all about him and his needs and not mine, he rushed me from dating, to living with him and then marriage and then acts like I did everything wrong, of course I did I was married to a stranger and didn't know the man I was sleeping with........ Great post

by Departed 571 Posts
Posted on 3/24/2009 9:04 AM

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I was very blind indeed. I was so in love with the man even though I thought those "little" things he did were odd, I didn't think they were serious. He turned out to be a very evil man at the end. After we divorced and I wasn't around him anymore I looked back and that's when I saw those little things were HUGE signs. I always thought I'd be the one to leave him but instead he left me for another woman.

by justme09 5 Posts
Posted on 3/24/2009 8:35 AM

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I was blind..I thought that fact of being married, she would seek to work things out for the sake of our kids and marriage. That was her breaking my trust.

In hindsight, and after seeking to know myself; I don't blame her. I was the husband I never imagined I'd be. a schmuck. Well I am changing so I am never that person again. I love her so much - It hurts to see her walking out of my life.

by Alive 31 Posts
Posted on 3/19/2009 12:00 AM

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I didn't see it coming. I knew things were not perfect but hey, many times in a marriage there are ups and downs. I never for one second believed that he would ever cheat on me or decide to fall in love with someone else...It rocked my entire world. It was hard for me to process because I never would have believed he would allow something like that to happen. Just shows I didn't know him the way I thought. After being with someone for that long, you would think they couldn't surprise you so much.

by militaryp 2952 Posts
Posted on 2/5/2009 9:32 PM

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Hind sight is an amazing thing....now I see all the "little triggers that were there right in front of my eyes"....call it womans intuition....I had a gut feeling about many things, but like he ALWAYS told me.....'Terri, its in your head'.....Pffffftttt

by __STRIKER__ 1399 Posts
Posted on 2/5/2009 4:07 AM

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I voted "don't know"....
For a very long time, I would have never thought we'd end up divorcing. We had a good marriage. And, I thought we could make it through anything. Somehow, that changed, and then it seemed like divorce was the best thing for he and I both.

by Skilly 19 Posts
Posted on 2/3/2009 11:31 AM

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I saw it coming, just never knew he would choose a prostitute(s).

by Yarka 4 Posts
Posted on 2/3/2009 6:31 AM

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I once saw a woman on a talk show being interviewed about the fact that her husband had just been discovered to be a serial killer. She was crying and kept saying over and over that she never suspected anyrhing and never had a clue. I clearly remember thinking how impossible that seemed and mocking her plight. maybe she was some sort of idiot or something. Today I truly wish I could speak to her and apoligize. You can live with someone and never really see the monster that they really are. It happened to me. I NEVER for one second thought that the man I loved and slept next to for 15 years could be the true evil he really turned out to be.You ask if I was blind? not bilnd, but deaf and dumb as well.

by deej 19 Posts
Posted on 2/3/2009 2:34 AM

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Yes, I was blind to the fact my husband was cheating on me, and yes it felt like a frieght train hit me and I should have been dead when he told me on the day of our 11 year anniversary. That movie is great yet still to far fetched from reality, but does give a sense of hope!

by candie 37 Posts
Posted on 2/3/2009 1:56 AM

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Twice I was hit with this! Now you would think I would have been kind of expecting the 2nd. time, but noooooooo! So taking off the blinders if there is ever a next time, I will see it coming! Yeah right!

by kdb 3175 Posts
Posted on 2/2/2009 10:08 PM

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Date me, same way I have felt many times during the last (and absolute worst) year of my life. My girls literally have saved my life. It kills me that they have to deal with this also, but we will get through it.

by dadinnj 23 Posts
Posted on 2/2/2009 8:22 PM

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Same here DivDad--mine was such a shock I was stunned through the whole thing. I kept trying to get a grasp of things, play catch-up and turn things around... It was too late. By the time I figured things out, she had already emotionally divorced me and made up her mind. She was unhappy and was finally going to change things and she had found her "soul mate" to help her. The OM was also married with kids. We were married just over 17yrs when I found out. I never, ever would have thought she was capable of what she has done. It has really throw me for a loop. We've been seperated a year and divorced just 3 months--I know I have a long, hard road ahead of me. Life really sucks alot right now, but my 2 beautiful daughters are getting me through... But thats off topic.

by dadinnj 23 Posts
Posted on 2/2/2009 8:18 PM

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At the time it hit me like a bolt of lightning.....and just like the movie eludes to I wish it would have killed me.

by datme 105 Posts
Posted on 2/2/2009 8:17 PM

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At the time it hit me like a bolt of lightning.....and just like the movie eludes to I wish it would have killed me.

by datme 105 Posts
Posted on 2/2/2009 8:17 PM

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I just love that movie and actually bought it this weekend. Here's to new beginnings....

by mominny 219 Posts
Posted on 2/2/2009 8:12 PM

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It hit me like a right cross when I was looking left. I thought we had a strong relationship and marriage. We had been together almost 20 years and had been through a lot together. I still don't know what caused the divorce except for perhaps boredom and depression (hers). I was truly blind to this possibility.

by DivDadinFLA 58 Posts
Posted on 2/2/2009 7:36 PM

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i always new the truth in my marriage. i never loved my ex, even after the first day i married him. i married for all the wrong reasons.. so sad. if and i mean if i ever get married again it must be for the right reasons.

by cherbear 5182 Posts
Posted on 2/2/2009 7:13 PM

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Some part of me always new it was coming. I always wanted a house and kids. But once I married her, all that changed, and I wanted neither. I actually put off having kids for eight years.

by 2much42long 3031 Posts
Posted on 2/2/2009 6:58 PM

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