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My friend called me today. The one who is leaving his wife. I have been traveling so I have been unable to speak to him since he made the big announcement that he is leaving his wife. They tried counseling, he said. They tried joint and they are now both going to individual counseling. He said he didn't need marriage counseling because while they were both there the big "reason" for the divorce never came up until the last session. The last session where they both knew it was over. In the last two years they have had sex 5 times. He said they are just roommates. They have breakfast together, they go to the club's events together, they play with their dog, they laugh, they smile but when it comes time to go to bed at night they don't have sex. I asked him why? Has he initiated it? Has she? Is there someone else. He said he doesn't know what happened along the way. There is no one else. He initiates it and she rebuffs him or sometimes doesn't. She initiates it and sometimes he rebuffs her or not. He said there is no pattern. But he knows that 5 times in 2 years is not "normal". He said he's just not physically attracted to her anymore. He said he let it go so long that now it's just not a matter of trying; he just does not want to have sex with her anymore No matter how we look at it. Sex is important in a marriage, the therapist told him. It must be addressed. It can't be let go for days that turn into months that turn into years. Sex is vital to a marriage/relationship. His therapist told him that this is common in marriages but that most couples won't admit that this is the reason because it seems to be an unacceptable reason for divorce. What do you think? Do YOU accept "lack of sex" as a reason for getting a divorce?
In the last two years they have had sex 5 times. He said they are just roommates. They have breakfast together, they go to the club's events together, they play with their dog, they laugh, they smile but when it comes time to go to bed at night they don't have sex.
I asked him why? Has he initiated it? Has she? Is there someone else. He said he doesn't know what happened along the way. There is no one else. He initiates it and she rebuffs him or sometimes doesn't. She initiates it and sometimes he rebuffs her or not. He said there is no pattern. But he knows that 5 times in 2 years is not "normal". He said he's just not physically attracted to her anymore. He said he let it go so long that now it's just not a matter of trying; he just does not want to have sex with her anymore
No matter how we look at it. Sex is important in a marriage, the therapist told him. It must be addressed. It can't be let go for days that turn into months that turn into years. Sex is vital to a marriage/relationship.
His therapist told him that this is common in marriages but that most couples won't admit that this is the reason because it seems to be an unacceptable reason for divorce.