cheating spouse, what would you do?

I walked in and caught my husband taking a shower in her bathroom.  Had I been a few minutes later I might have caught them in bed together.  He yelled at me like I had done something wrong.  ( I did push my way in the house when she started to shut the door on me and followed her to the bedroom and then the master bathroom).  He kept yelling at me to get the he_ _ out of there.  At first I said no, I wasn't leaving.  Then I thought about her calling the police about me forcing my way in.  So I left.  When I got outside I had to do something, I couldn't just leave, so I let the air out of his tires.  Although the scene from "Waiting to Exhale" came to mind.  I am a licensed social worker and I had to protect my license.  So I knew that setting his car on fire and smashing his car with rocks and the like would be criminal damage so I just let the air out of two tires.  I should have done it to at least 6 tires.  But I was afraid of getting caught.   I then went and got my girlfriend and we went and changed the locks on the house.  He never tried to come back to the house again.  Not to mention he's a big chicken and will avoid confrontation at all COSTS. 

For me, if I would have come face to face with the actual act being done, I believe I would honestly start screaming and crying because I would be so distraught with seeing it, I wouldn't be able to contain myself....I know, it would probably be better to think things over first, but when you come upon seeing something like that, it's hard to keep quiet.

Sorry folks, but my humble opinion differs. I suggest you need to think first (take that walk), then talk (find out what's going on), so I voted for talk as nobody else had.

You saw what you saw. That's a fact. It happened. If that is a deal breaker under any possible circumstance, end it. And don't bother forgiving anybody; if you're like that, there probably isn't much forgiveness in your nature.

Of course, if you've really been "done" for a while and this just provides an excuse to proceed, end it. But see it as what it is, just an excuse.

If this happened to me, I'd be shocked first, pissed second, and wondering what in the f**k was going on third (pun intended).

Taking that walk let's you get over the shock and the initial, potentially uncontrollable, anger so you can deal with things in a rational way. Then it's time to find out what really is going on.

If it's a one-night-thing because two people were drunk and stupid, and they're both embarrased and ashamed and swear it'll never happen again, I think I'd leave it at a loss of respect for my family member and insist on some "together counseling" for my spouse and I to get to the bottom of why (s)he was receptive to the idea and how to make sure it won't happen again (i.e. restore the trust).

If they've been fooling around for months and just now got caught, I think I'd pretty much be done.

Without knowing the circumstances and history, it's hard to deal with the situation in a rational way that can result in the most happiness for you and, hopefully, everyone else. And it depends a bit on how good you thought your marriage was before the incident.

I am very sorry that they did not care enough about your feelings.  There is no excuse.  What kind of explanation could they possibly have!?!?!?!  

Hang in there.  We are all standing behind you.

WOW, for me It would be over right then and there!! The trust of both relationships would be gone, I could not trust either one of them in any way again  NEVER EVER.

What are they going to say! OOOPPPSS She came out of the bathroom and slipped on DI--! or how about I was just helping her out till the right guy came along.

They are adults they know right from wrong. If they have that kind of energy between them then they don't love you, (at least thats how I would feel). 

I'm soooooooooooo sorrrrrrrrrry you had to see that and go through this pain!

Just remember we are here for you NO MATTER what you do!!!!!