After 23 yrs of wedded Bliss am I selfsish

After 23 yrs. of marriage, Both my Husband and I are disabled . He needs a new heart that he will never get for he drinks  to much  and takes  my  provigile (a rx that helps  cancer and lupus  patients get energy back)  I have  nerve damage  , in remission of Lupus, and digenetive disc decease. I receive 435. a month he gets  1700. a month  am I wrong  for want  to sell the house get half of that  and want  alimony of  300. a month? For last year he has not helped me Finacialy and I had to max out my credit cards to pay  for  medications  after reaching my Gap. yet he  give's his  brother  400, for  football games,  or  his mom  money. who  claims to be  broke and  just  paid  cash  for  a 63 thousand  mobil home. I feel  Guilty at times  but I think that his  brains washing on me. what  do you all think? 

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