Is their any good advice for a women who over steps her boundaries?My son and daughter just got back from their dads and his fiance tries to be the mother too my children. I am a great mom who is fully devoted to my kids I volunteer at school, sports, take them to counseling and I am very involved in my children. I take them on regular check ups too the doctor and the dentist my son and daughter just got there haircut before they went to there dads and my ex's fiance took my daughter to get her hair cut a week ago and it looks awful the layers are really short and it looks terrible I have told them several times that she is not the mom I will be responsible for them.Can anyone give me advise on a women who is hostile to my kids and her and my ex husband run me down all the time calling me names in front of my kids and telling my kids that I am a horrible mom and that I am a bitch and that I am fat and lazy coming from being abused by my ex husband for six years and now dealing with his fiance who acts just like him. I have stood up to her and him and they don't seem to listen she tells me she knows it all because she has been divorced before the whole thing is I have not deprived my childern of nothing and have fully supported them threw all of it.My attorney tells me that his fiance has nothing to do with this situation and that if his fiance was smart she would stay out of it. How can I explain it that I am a good mom, and that there is no reason for her to get involved I don't tell her how to be a parent to her kids and then I get reports from friends that when my kids are at there dads they don't watch them they run all over town without any adult supervision and these are kids under 10. Could someone please give me good advise on how to deal with this women and my ex?
Ok - here's the thing - you can't control what goes on in your ex's home - you can't control what he does with the kids or what is said, and you can't control her. It sucks but it is true. If your kids come to you about things they say, then you talk to the kids about it - resisting the urge to say something nasty about your ex or his fiance right back. You explain that some people say things to be mean, but the best thing to do is to ignore them - it's called being the bigger person. You can teach your children a great lesson in how you handle things like this. Hair cuts and the like, again, you have zero control - they are in your ex's care - and if he allows her to take the kids to get haircuts, or anything else for that matter - it's him giving the permission, and as their dad, he has that right. Hiar grows back. She is about to marry your ex. When she does, she will have full legal right as a parent like your ex does. She will be able to do the things that your husband can do (take them to school, dr appts etc) and you will not be able to control it - and as far as I can tell, your ex has put her by his permission in that role already.
I'm sure you are a very good mom - but you can't keep her out of your children's lives and the sooner you accept her for the step-mother she is about to be - the better.
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