Hi Texasgal, I also am a Texas Gal! I have been married for 29 years and yes there have been so many lonely times that I have often thought that i could be lonely by myself. Lately i have been trying to shake things up and do things that i usually don't do. One thing that may seem simple is I started reading the news headlines on AOL. I usually try to use something that I learned that day in our conversations that evening. Wow, he actually started talking! Now I am getting into the election and we are having discussions about that. He is afraid that I am going to vote for the wrong man!  i'm going to keep him guessing.

Not that eveything is perfect, it's not or I wouldn't be on this site.

I too, have tried to get him to do things with me. About the only thing he will do is take me to a cheep movie and I mean an old theater $4.75. We have to search for a good seat that isn't torn up.  I always insist on a coke and popcorn to get my dates worth.

With his diabetes he gets angry about alot of things that really aren't important. I don't see myself retiring with this angry old man.

Good luck, I sincerely hope things work out for you!

Welcome Texas Girl!

I really don't want to sound like a 'nay-sayer' but, I got stuck in the same rut as you only I hung in there for 25 years.  I agree that you should try counseling, however, I have found that counseling only works if both parties agree that something is wrong.  I don't think my husband ever really felt something was wrong with him.  I also agree that you should just sit him down and tell him what you have been feeling.  You don't really want him to come back at you later with the "why didnt you tell me?" line.  

What ever you do, please, please don't waste too much time.  Life is too short to be stuck in a relationship what is wrong.

Good luck!

TexasGal, I know exactly how you feel.  I am at the same point where my husband and I spend our evenings in separate rooms.  We used to have some of the same interests but we don't engage in those activities anymore.  I used to plan a lot of activities for the two of us but he never reciprocated by planning anything himself.  I accepted it for the longest time but now it's frustrating.  Especially hard when I get the excuses that he attempted to make an effort but things fell through.  It's not like a Hallmark card and the thought is what counted.  I'm tired of excuses.  I'm tired of being the one that takes care of our son, our finances, our home, everything, even down to hiring contractors when major appliances break.  For once I'd just like him to go out of his way and surprise me for a change.  Do something out of the ordinary, something I wouldn't expect, something he thinks I would like, not necessarily that he would like.  I feel that he and I are just roommates.  He's a good father to our son but I think our relationship as wife and husband has run its course.

I've been in counseling 75% of our marriage.  I admit I was a real jerk early on (old baggage).  Now, I got it together, and have asked repeatedly what I can do to make thinks better.  Nothing is offered.  Now, I remain respectful and try to stay emotionally involved, but that is hard to do with someone who continues with verbal abuse.  After the last episode, I "lost" my wedding ring.  I remember wanting to throw it in the ocean, but during a recent renovation of my home office I "lost" it.  Can't find it. Felt guilty being with my 2 and 4 year old and having no ring.  Went to Costo to replace it, then came home and more conflict.  Now, wondering why I bought the ring...Don't want my daughters to be seen as having no committed father.

Thank you for being here.