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Is time of the escence

I have become addicted to this site. It contains very helpful info, but I read and it makes me sad. It's not like my situation isn't always on my mind, but there are others in much worse situations. Which leads me where my thoughts are today-all the fighting over property and time consumed in divorce-should I stay and liquidate the assets so there is nothing to fight over or time spent fighting while waiting for the house to sell? At this time there is no fighting, he wants desperately for our marriage to stay together. He has always been a good husband and he will go along with anything I suggest. He is not stupid, he knows my selling out puts him in a vunerable place, a place he's willing to be to keep me. I have already started selling furniture, paying off small debts, cancelled the one joint credit card we have. I have worked hard to insure our credit rating is outstanding. I have stopped paying his medical bills and advised him he needs to learn to handle his own affairs. Some he does, he was not willing to take over the household finances which I offered to him after taking care of everything throughout our marriage. He doesn't want the responsiblity and he knows I will keep the bills paid. Good news is we don't have debt, we owe around $15,000 for our home. We have alot of equity but neither party chooses to buy the other out of the house. He is willing to sell with intentions we stay together and start over. I do not see myself with him a year from now-he has hurt me to bad & I will not get over his cheating. My living situation is comfortable and I have been and will continue focusing on myself. Mother says I am depriving myself of a new beginning if my mind is made up to leave. I see myself here for the last 24 years and another until all is liquidated and hopeful for a peaceful (is there such a thing) divorce. I do not like conflict and I do not want to see him after papers are signed. Am I postponing and keeping myself from finding peace within myself to be happy?

by smalltowngirl 22 Posts
Posted on 7/2/2008 12:22 PM

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Comments for "divorce360.com | Is time of the escence" (2) (You must be logged in to answer)

You can have a "civil" divorce without it being "friendly". If we were "friends" in the first place, we probably wouldn't have ended up divorced, right? Making things civil is very possible. Both people just have to agree to disagree sometimes, get off their high horses, and compromise...which is one of the hardest darned things to do, (and a big reason marriages break up! go figure!). Anyway, good luck to you. Try and keep it as civil as possible, then move on. Once it's done, you don't HAVE to talk to him. You can change phone numbers, move, whatever....as long as there's no children or custody involved.

by elane 348 Posts
Posted on 7/2/2008 1:25 PM

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We did the "peaceful divorce" It was more like a cold war. We knew the damage the other person could inflict, and didn't want to risk them being able to retaliate. We'd watched War of the Roses as a "how to" film. It was best to be nice. But the fact that I'm here and still have all limbs is a testament to how a friendly divorce can work, it just takes an effort from both sides.

It sounds like you guys are in great shape really. $15,000 mortgage? Holy Cow! You've got the tic tac of the mortgage world. I've got an ostrich egg. You'll do fine smalltowngirl. hang in there.

by Robert-Boyd 5134 Posts
Posted on 7/2/2008 1:01 PM

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