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7/1/2008 10:05:02 AM

Read more posts in group: Should I Stay or Should I Go

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To Leave or Stay

I have been married for 26 years and although I care very much about my husband I am no longer in love with him and I don't think I have been for many years. I did have an affair about 10 years ago but we both decided at that time that our kids were more important and decided to stay in our marriages - I moved to another state and the kids are all grown and gone. Now this man has come back into my life again and I am sure that I have loved him along and feel this is my second chance to be with him.

My husband and I have grown very much apart over the past couple of years and hardly spend any time together at all and hardly even talk to each other. When I told him I was thinking about leaving that I just didn't have the same feelings for him anymore he says that our marriage can be saved and he will change so the past couple of weeks we have been trying but I just don't feel in love with anymore no matter what he does. I feel like in a couple of months it will just be back to the same old ways.

 


by colleen2142   1 Post   read more from user >>
Posted on 6/24/2008 10:05 AM

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Comments for "To Leave or Stay"  (3) (You must be logged in to answer)




The grass is always seems greener, until it's yours.

You owe it to your husband to try to work on the marriage.  If you don't love him anymore, then why didn't you leave many years ago?  It seems that the only reason that you are contemplating it now is because your ex-lover is back the picture.  I am sure that the fireworks are flying with the new beau, but if you leave your husband and are with this New Man, things will become routine, they always do.  Those fireworks will settle down, and will you still be happy?

My point here is that if you no longer love your husband, then yes, you should consider leaving him.  The entrance of another man into the picture may be clouding your judgement somewhat.  Try not to see Man #2, identify your feelings, be honest with yourself and seek counseling if need be.  You'll find the right answer.
by HurtingDad   22 Posts
Posted on 6/28/2008 11:35 PM
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Well, it may be tempting to do something/someone new, but if he's willing to try and change, I think you owe your marriage the shot.  Very rarely do we hear of a man that is willing to work on his marriage on here, so I think you have someone that really loves you.  I believe you love him, but are not in love anymore.  You don't dislike him, or despise him, right? He's treated you well, right? AND, he took you back after the affair 10 years ago.  I think you may need to get some kind of therapy to figure out why you have commitment issues.  Realize what you have...the grass is NOT always greener.  Good Luck
by elane   280 Posts
Posted on 6/24/2008 1:20 PM
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i do think your marriage deserves more chances.  someone new is always exciting..but can they do the day to day realities of what a marriage requires?   yes, my vote is to try, try again.
by paula1   915 Posts
Posted on 6/24/2008 10:12 AM
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