jealous that exes girlfriend spends time with my kids

It's rough. TeenageGirlEx (StoopidEx's daughter, whom I raised from a toddler) gets along well with ParamourEx (who is now the third Mrs. StoopidEx), but not with ParamourEx's three daughters (all of whom are older). It took me a while to accept that TeenageGirlEx and ParamourEx were going to get along, but I knew I had to because that's now her family. To show her my acceptance of family unity, I scheduled a dinner with StoopidEx, ParamourEx, TeenageGirlEx, and myself. (When TeenageGirlEx was still LittleGirlEx, we did this with FirstEx to demonstrate family unity.) As hard as it is, you really do need to swallow your pride and accept that hubby's new family is part of your children's new family.

Good luck.

i relate.  you really do have to find a way to accept this.  look at it like this...at least she is nice to them and they like her.  imagine how much worse this situtation would be if they hated her too.  

if it helps, consider her hired help.  she is there to take care of your kids....while you get a break for the weekend.

that works for me.

I've been in this situation and it SUCKS!  You'll be reassured to know that Micki McWade who wrote a book about running divorce support groups and who knows an enormous amount about divorce says this is the most difficult post divorce scenario there is.  You are not alone in feeling the way you do.  The only thing you can do is bite your tongue and don't trash her to the kids.  Eventually, if she sticks around, you'll get used to her.  I hope at least she's not a witch like my ex's wife who he left me for.