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My stbxh has been having an affair with a married woman for over six months. When he left me he had no intention of telling me about her & it was only because of my confirmed suspicions that I did know. The "girlfriend" is still with her husband (and according to my stbxh) has no proof of the affair AND believes their marriage is salvageable. When & if she ever tells her spouse she plans to do it under the same guise that mine did --- it is all your fault, you are worthless, yada yada .So my question is this --- Should someone tell the husband about the affair? I go back & forth with it. I wish someone would have told me. Yes, it has been going on for some time --- so how could he not know? Well --- when I had suspicions my husband was able to elevate them & even my family and friends found ways to explain away his behaviors. SO --- I could still not "know" all these many months later. I have asked myself while I would want to know - does that mean everyone would? Probably not. I have also pondered whether I am telling more to hurt her and my stbxh. I know there is some of that involved there. It isn't all altruistic motives. I also question whether this will cause serious ramifications in her life. I know - I probably shouldn't care. But I do. What if he goes crazy and hurts her or my ex? SO --- the questions is ---Should I tell the husband of my stbxh's girlfriend about their on-going long term affair?
Mb - you want to hold onto the man your husband was, or you think he was - he is not that man anymore, he is a cheater - and he will always be a cheater - you should be happy to let them go on their merry way in cheating bliss - because that relationship will end the same way - one of them will cheat...it's a vicious cycle. You have your own life to get back on track - there is no need for you to go throwing someone else off of their train. His life will play out as it should, with or without your involvement. You don't know anything about thier life, for all you know, her husband has a girlfriend of his own - what your husband says isn't something you can trust...he probably doesn't even know for sure.
Concentrate on your own happiness.