Search our site
divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.


Community  :: What do i do now  :: Answers  :: Polls

Details

6/13/2008 12:12:52 PM
Read more posts in group: What do i do now

Tags
ADVERTISING PARTNERS

Crushed over my daughter

I lived 23 years w/ an abusive spouse. We have 3 kids the oldest is my only girl, 18 yrs old and very aware of her dads issues. She begged me to make a change and do something. Therapy, church, prayer, praise, tolerance you name it I tried it to keep our family together. But when the condition of our family became knife under my son's pillow and my daughter now taking medication it was enought to say it's over. He would not leave the home so I packed up the kids and went to my moms. My daughter chose to stay w/ my ex. I can't belive my eyes. She is angry at me for ruining her senior year. Her conversations are short and snappy towards me. I told her I love her and was glad she told me how she feels. Now my twin boys are with me safe and adjusting nicely but I am quite without my sweet little girl. I am devastated. I don't care about the house or posessions I told me lawyer I just wanted the kids and their things and to get out. He said in a no fault divorce, my status can be clearly stated and not abadonment. I work full time and my income provides for the house. I am taking care of college for her. But he has won. Please help. thx 
by Hopeful   7 Posts
Posted on 6/6/2008 12:12 PM
Get AlertsGet Alerts!
Sent to Friendsend to friend
0

Cast your vote



   
>> View Results without Voting

Comments for "divorce360.com | Crushed over my daughter"  (4) (You must be logged in to answer)
thank you all for your suggestions. I know by the behavior in my twins (13yrs old) that I made the right choice. my daughter actually has been in therapy for over 3yrs now. I ck in w/ her and jump at any opportunity to be w/ her. she actually invited me to a friends graduation party. my focus continues to be whatever the kids need. tonite she graduates from HS. my ex and my boys and I will go together for her. I hope that tonite will be her night - w/out any drama from her father. He behaves similar to "mommy dearest" in public. Hopefully we can give her a good memory. unfortunatly her dad is obese and she is embarrest by him.
by Hopeful   7 Posts
Posted on 6/9/2008 10:48 AM
0



Funny that she wanted you to "do something" and now that you have it seems that it was wrong in her eyes. I think you should hold your ground. Keep trying but don't push too much with her. I think that one day she will see what you have chosen to do is the right thing. I have been thru one daughter(26) and am working on the 2nd. (19) They are young, they don't understand but will one day. The scary thing is that she may very well end up in a situation similar to the one you just left.
Love her as much as you can. One day you willbe able to explain more. Just try to keep your options open with her. Communicate as much as you can.
I am sorry that you are going thru this. I went for a few years without my oldest daughter, it was tough. But now, we are very close. We walk several nights a week and her boyfriend , my bf and her siblings now get together several times a week and play softball. It has been great. I really believe it will work out. You cannot feel guilty about leaving. He is abusive and you had to protect yourself and the younger children. Keep us posted!
by mtnvly   2423 Posts
Posted on 6/6/2008 3:28 PM
0



Hopeful.
I know how crushed you are without your daughter. But she is still young and something about daughters and their dads. They can do no wrong. You know her temperment. Should you push for her to come with you or give her space to hopefully make the right decision? Try to get her into counseling and see if she won't make that decision on her own.
Keep in touch with her and she will eventually find her way back to you. Off to college. That will help put distance from her father.
My daughter is much older and knows I did the right thing but there is a separation between us only she can fix. I too am waiting and I miss her very much.
Good luck in making a home for you and your boys.
by trisha9054   2171 Posts
Posted on 6/6/2008 1:08 PM
0



do you think your daughter would talk to an abuse help line counselor?  they may be able to help her.
by paula1   5972 Posts
Posted on 6/6/2008 12:50 PM
0





Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

expand information center
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. Is your Marriage Sexless?
Want More Sex in your Marriage? 5 Tips to Help if your Marriage Has Turned Sexless

2. Single Parenting: 10 Tips to a Good Relationship
Relationships: How to Tell if Someone Is Good for Me, if Relationship is Healthy?

3. Two First Borns? Bad Match
Birth Order Can Indicate Whether your Marriage Will Work Out -- or Not

4. 13 Tips to Improve your Marriage
Relationships: You Can Improve Your Marriage if You Want to Work at It

5. When Is a Marriage Worth Saving?
10 Things to Think About When Considering Whether to Stick with a Relationship